How's life?

Dear FutureMe, Well, I sure hope life is better for you than it ever has been. Remember how tough it was? You would go crazy and get mad so easily. Music was your outlet. Remember how mad you'ld get you you're dad would threaten to take your c-d player away? You didn't care much about your allowance, 5 bucks a week wasn't much anyway. It's better to block him out w/ the music. I wonder if you're beautiful now and still worry about how you look. Don't forget the past, Alex. Don't forget the pain and sadness. It'll always get better eventually, just don't forget that. Hold on to what you have and give it all youve got. Don't let anyone try and stop you. Keep pushing for it. I truly hope you no longer care what other people think about you. It doesn't matter anyway. I also wonder if you'll have a long time bf. At 14 longest relationship yov'e had was w/ Anthony for 5 months. Did you ever get w/ him again? There is so much I want to cram into this. I just hope you and mom worked it all out. Maybe you see her now. Maybe you go to her house. Maybe she never sold the house on Kingsridge Rd. Maybe you forgave her for all that she did to you. Did Daddy really do the things she said? When you get this it will be your hmm, let's see...18th birthday on October 24, 2007. So, you have your license? Remember how Sister got hers? She failed the first drivers test but practiced like hell w/ parallel parking and finally go it. Remember riding down the road when Sister had her permit? Mom was in the passenger seat and she yelled at Sister for driving to fast/or slow. I don't remember. I really hope you're still the girl you are. usually not caring what anyone thinks. Smart. But mostly I hope you have what you needed. Happiness. I hope you don't numb yourself as you did when you were 14. Being numb to every feeling was easier than feeling the pain. I really hope when you read this you will smile and it will be a real smile. You will look back to the day your wrote this (February 27, 2004) and laugh about how stupid you were writing this. I hope you decided to believe in God. I hope you've decided you want to get married and have kids. To take the chance that it may not last forever. If it doesn't, don't spaz like Mommy did. Take it as it is, and live for the moment. This applies to everything. Youre whole life. Most importantly: Stay who you are. Just like The Ataris says. I love you so much, keep on truckin', baby! I <3 you! The old me in the past, ALEX.