A letter from May 10th, 2022

Dear 23-Year-Old Me, How are you coping? Did you graduate from the University of Ottawa as we planned? If you haven't, I really hope that you just needed an extra year instead of you dropping out. The thought of being the first member in our family to drop out of university makes me cringe. It is currently 2:25 a.m. as I am writing this letter to you. As you know, I always do my best work when everyone in the house is asleep and the world around me is quiet. After four years, am I still like that or am I an early bird? Right now I am stressing about getting all of my projects done and getting an outfit for graduation. I still don't want to go and I hate the thought of planning for university after I graduate. It is scary to think that a couple of months from now, I will no longer be one car ride away from all my friends and family. I am also afraid that I am not good enough or smart enough for university. Do these fears ever disappear? Do you think these fears are silly now that you have lived through them? Right now, my closest friends are Aiden, Mariana, and Tamika. They really stuck by me through the pandemic and we often spend hours calling. Aiden says that we will still be friends even after we all go our separate ways. Was he right or did we just grow out of it as I predicted? Aiden plans on going to Taiwan for university and Mariana wants to go to Spain. Did they actually go and did you ever visit them? Did Tamika ever visit you in Ottawa as she planned? I really hope that they are doing amazing because right now, they are a big part of your life. My favorite cafe, Wings and Feathers, relocated today. Mariana and I are planning to go the second we submit all our projects. I can't wait to just sit there with her and just enjoy life a little. Do you still like drinking coffee over ice with no whip cream? Do you still enjoy reading books? Last year, I read 64 books in total and was super proud of myself for that. Anyways, I hope that you received this letter in good spirits and are enjoying life. My one piece of advice to you is to forgive yourself. If you are anything like me right now, you probably carry a thousand burdens on your shoulders and light candles in the hopes that you will feel better. Stop that and just forgive yourself. Be happy because if you deserve anything, it is happiness. That is my biggest wish for you. To simply be happy. Love your past dumb self, Yan