A letter from May 4th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, May the fourth be with you. I thought I'd start this out with a joke because this letter is actually pretty serious. Let's go over some things to refresh your memory about where you were , (where I am). When writing this. First off you sitting in the bathroom of the house you live in because you wanted some privacy to write. Not to say you had to go to the bathroom you could have asked Bessie to leave the room but that would seem silly and unnecessary to do over something as small as a letter to your future self. Plus you did have to use the restroom. Anyways speaking of your living I Environment let's go over the pros. Postives: -you live in a house not a tent or trailer under a bridge (anymore) - you have a bedroom -you have final say so for what happens to your bedroom - the person who you share the room was by your invitation and choice - the person who shares your room is super respectful and understanding - you have a room rather than being confined to the living room - there's currently wifi - your important things are safe -you have a safe place to create art and express yourself - your room is actually clean - your roommates are friends not strangers - it's fairly close to your job - also fairly close to your family but not to close -no rent -you can leave when you feel like it Now the cons Negatives: - Your roommates are chaotic as **** -constant fighting between them occasionally having them trying to involve you -the person you share your room with is way to affected by the other roommates interactions and emotions -you don't have just your own room anymore -its the last place you lived with your ex -your ex still stores his stuff there (in your room) -therecare rats hopfuly just down stairs -wifi can be an issue -clothes and other small things go missing including underwear and *** toys - only one who can extract everyone else just enjoys -1 of 2 out of 15ish sometimes always 11 people with a job -Constantly having to pay for things for others -no car(but you have a scooter) -in Sacramento in a lame area also -cant host -pratically a trap house that just doesn't sell drugs -looks like a trap house Okay so that's your living situation. How about your mental state. I mean you and your ex were together for 5 years be it on and off and highly toxic most of the time and probably almost if not a full 3 years of it with him in jail. It was still five years of your life that you put in a lot of ******* effort and work into making work out. I mean a lot of ******* work and effort , and I know and hopefully you still know that it wasn't wasted effort because alot of that work was on my own character and behavior. It was work and effort to make me a better person regardless of what or who is around me. Obviously I'm not perfect but I do t let anyone or anything be used as an excuse for my actions or decisions. I'm smart and aware enough to make good choices and have morals that I uphold. Hopefully you are the same if not better at maintaining the same mentality. But going back to the ex thing even knowing that the time wasn't wasted doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt and I'm not saying that 8t hurts mist because if I say that then I'll have to actually accept that and then possibly feel that and as of right not your not. I'm not. Because as toxic as it was there was a lot of ******* love in those five years enough for me to wait 18 months for him to just be done. At least on my part. So right now your mental state is on high stress because it's restricting your emotional state from feeling anything to intensely. What you hopfuly have done since you've been here writing this is expressed released and healed from what your avoiding right now, but also hopefully between then you stayed motvated to keep improving your life. Getting yourself out there networking and building a reputation for yourself and hopefully a name. You have big dreams that are going to take big effort that honestly should be your priority. Which is probably why you and him couldn't be together so you can put your effort where in needs to be to make this world a better place eventually to show people how to live accept and communicate with one another. To let your creative mind be displayed for all to see enjoy and hopefully become inspired by. I hope your reading this with a since of nostalgia reminding you of before you got to a place where I would be proud of and are still working towards a place you will be proud of fir the next chance reading this. I mean your name our name says it all and we need to prove that we are the Chance the world needs and that needs to be your main goal. You got a job promoted to full time and yor working your way up. But don't let having a job make you stop reaching for your real dreams it's not bad to be a normal worker just don't stop there don't let that be all you are be who you need to be who you want to be don't just be what is expected of everyone. And know your loved so make those who love you amazed with pride and be someone they can brag about. Keep up the work I know you've been doing good job and know it will all be worth it in the end. You from here and now to me then and there you got this