A letter from Apr 3rd, 2022

Dear FutureMe, As usual, I don't know what's going on when you read this. You're probably a dad of 2 by now. Hopefully with Janet. I like that girl. I love her. Right now though I am struggling. Not loving her but just expressing any emotion at all. See you have this report thing to hand over to Stan (remember that douche? Absolute ***** that one) but for some reason, you can't seem to just get it right and he keeps insisting on a certain format that really doesn't work. Anyway, he's an old geezer and a control freak who cannot change his way. Hopefully, that job you applied for at Canonical with the online interviews worked out somehow and you said deuces and jumped ship. Interestingly, you only write when your entire mind is filled to the brim with emotions and somehow this is your best creative outlet. I thought about maybe playing an instrument or listening to JP Cooper's Everything I Wanted or even Arms of a Woman by that guy I can't remember his name but I guess writing works. At this point, my fingers are flying over this 7 year laptop that dad bought you. You haven't written in quite a while so it's amazing to have all these words pour out of you seemingly effortlessly. Point is here, I'm struggling now. That old feeling of being overwhelmed is back. Maybe we should talk to Ann - remember your therapist? But then she charges about 2k a session money you don't have because you just moved. Oh right. You made some grown-up decisions: 1) Moved in with Janet at Tembisa. 2) Bought appliances 3) Started out broke and stressed 4) Took up boxing semi-seriously at The Colosseum. These and other things including Munga's ruracio that you're planning for later this month. Look, there are a lot of details that I'm adding in that aren't really adding to this letter so let me rephrase. I hope you manage to remember that your job doesn't define you. That who you are as a person isn't reflected by the bad days you have at work. I hope you found something you're good at that you also enjoy and it pays. If not, at least a less stressful job that allows you time to explore your other passions - which may have changed? Do tell me. I need to go to sleep in a few but maybe I'll wait up for Janet. We both have been super stressed for a while so we haven't had ***. I'm starting to get worried that maybe my body language is reflecting that. That maybe she thinks I'm not interested in her. Or that I'm bored of her. Or worse - that I don't find her attractive (remember the bad breath thing?) I don't know how to end this letter. Maybe just hang in there? You aren't your job. Keep investing and saving. Say hi to JJ and Njoka/Wairimu or Dad/Mum. And everyone we love. Talk to them whenever **** gets hard. It really helps. Please be gentle with yourself. I have a headache from all this stressing out and it doesn't help. Also, please try and maintain your body :-D. It's only going to get harder from now. Make that 40-year photoshoot a thing. Get ripped AF and post it on whatever socials are hot. You deserve to. You're a great guy. You really are. All you have to do is believe it. As Drake once said, "You can be anything you want. even yourself". Love, Younger John.