A letter from Mar 30th, 2022

Dear senior me, Hello. How's it going? Actually, you can't do that. I'm just younger you, and although I can send messages to the future, the opposite is not possible. Well. By now I hope you have something to be proud of, you loser. You ought to be a black belt at least. Maybe you still want to be a lawyer or something. Be good at money stuff. Dad suggested banking to me a few weeks ago. Maybe you want to try that. Go to a good college. Don't wear dumb stuff, but I trust me enough not to. Don't watch anime, that's dumb. Watch Star Trek more. Get Star Trek Online account, I want to and I hope I'll have gotten around to it by then... now? Don't do dumb stuff. You decide what that means. BE AN EAGLE SCOUT! DO THAT FOR... oh wait. If you aren't by now you never will be. You are an eagle scout right? Get better friends. Well, more. Jordan's a good friend. I guess not many people are better than Jordan though. If HE starts watching anime, slap some sense into him. And always remember: GOD BLESS THE USA! If the US is at war, always come to it's defense! It is your civic duty! ooh, maybe you should become a spy! Then you could like, assassinate Putin or something, if he's even still alive. Support Ukraine, though I can't imagine they'll be at war anymore, unless it's the Second Ukraine-Russia war. Or World War Three. That'd be bad. If it's WW3 DEFINITELY join the army. Unless we're winning already, in which case you should've joined sooner, ya slacker. Be brave, never back down. Stubbornness is both a virtue and a vice, but it is almost always helpful. Especially if you are in the military. That's what allows last stands, and thirteen random people to tell an actual Russian warship to eff itself. You need it. Never let it go. April Fools'! Not like, the message. Just the day. From you, William A*** Parsons, age 14, 8th Grade PS. vote red! PPS. unless they're commies. vote republican is what I meant. Well, unless the Democrat is actually better, but I find that unlikely.