Hey you, I'm doing pretty good actually right now. I'm settled into the school year, having done my first maths internal (on trigonometry ..... I got merit though so yay), a science internal report on microbes which I am actually really proud of, and I just finished the last period of my English close viewing internal assessment today which I'm also quite pleased with. Currently, I have a Digitech database internal on the way and my PE tennis internal coming up soon so that's good. Spanish is getting really fun, I'm learning some really cool new grammar and vocab that I can include in everyday sentences which is pretty cool. Skating is coming along; finished learning my program, we just have to top it off with a bit of choreography and that but I'm really proud of how it's coming along. I haven't landed another double toe yet, but my double salchow and axel are getting a lot more consistent and are improving a lot. My spins are looking a lot cleaner and I am getting a lot more revs now. I am really seeming to be enjoying off ices - even Mondays and Saturdays - and I can definitely see improvements. Having some exercise in your day wakes you up a lot more and it's keeping me nice and healthy. Okay, I know you've been waiting on an update from Theo so here it is. We are getting so much more comfortable with each other and are enjoying each other's company greatly. I met his parents and he met mine and all is well with that. Last Saturday I held his hand, but the thing is it was so natural for us that it didn't feel awkward to do it. I was cuddling him, leaning on his shoulder and my hand just kinda slipped into his and that was that. We are coming up to a month now - which is crazy how the fuck where did all that time fly off to - and the friend group has a games night planned at Hazel's, and Theo's invited so that's cool. Okay, I'm gonna be a simp for a second but his hugs wtf. Like I was at his house on Saturday and we were playing basketball. It was his shot and I was just standing in front of him being an asshole. I wrapped my arms around his back because my short ass is fucking nothing compared to that giraffe, and he just hugs me back while holding the ball in one hand and - this is so fucking cute just wait - he rests his head on my head like ahhhh. He takes the shot and misses (haha sucks to suck) and the ball rolls off somewhere, and he just hugs me back and holds me there for a bit. But the thing is I felt so safe just being there and genuinely so happy. I can be myself around him and it's so effortless and I just wanna be around him because he compliments me and who I am as I person. He's kinda shy at times, this being his first relationship and all but it's still cute seeing him making an effort and trying his best because sincerely I'm not asking for more. He's my boyfriend but he's my friend first and I want to keep it that way. I care about him so much, no matter how much I tease him and punch him and threaten to beat him up - jokingly. I want him in my life as much as anyone else. I think I love him and I know that sounds fucking crazy but is it? I think about him a lot, but when I don't I'm still okay. This is such a healthy relationship with a person that is good and right for me. He's someone who can handle me and is someone that isn't afraid to make a fool of themselves around me. I love how he sings at random times and how we can talk about anything. I love our shared interest and bittersweet competition in the wordle. I love how competitive he is when we play horse and not only that, but how passionate he is at basketball and everything he cares about. He let me into his family and he's willing to show me his life and have me be a part of it which is new for me. He genuinely wants to be with me and that is the best feeling I could ever have. I have no doubts about him. We are both two independent individuals coming together to be happy and enjoy each other's company. I love the stupid little nicknames we give each other and how he looks at me and I love that I sometimes catch him glancing at me in PE. I love how he gives me feedback on my skills and how he is a great listener. I love that he can communicate and talk about our relationship seriously without it being overwhelming and I love that all that I'm saying now is true. I think I love him. But I wanna wait. I don't want him to get uncomfortable; he hasn't had his first kiss yet or said I love you romantically before, and because I'm kind and thoughtful and because I care, I don't want to rush it and I want this to all pan out naturally. I'm worried about Hazel. I've always cared about her, she's always been a difficult person to please and get along with. I have noticed lately that her mental health has been getting worse and I have felt the urge to check in with her and make sure she's alright a lot of the time. With Hazel, she needs her personal space, I just don't want her to be so distant that she feels lonely. I want her to be happy and safe. Especially struggling with her hip a lot lately I know that she needs to go easy on herself. She's never been particularly confident or soft on herself and I worry about that from her. She's gorgeous and she's capable but she needs a strong foundation and a good support network. Yes, she can be a bitch (and so can I ..), and yes, she can be quite intimidating from time to time but that's just Hazel. She is a strong independent woman who works exceptionally hard and strives to do her best. I'm just worried that she will burn out. I want her to know that I'm there for her and that I love her and that I'm always here to talk. I often feel guilty that I'm not looking out for her as much as she needs and that she's just crawling back into bad habits. It just shows me that I care. I really hope that she's okay but maybe she's not. I just needed to get that off my chest so yeah, sorry for the rant but that was really good to write out Past Liv, adios :)