A letter from Feb 17th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Feb 17,2022 at 1:18 am I've been making fake scenarios in my head for too long and I hate it. Just yesterday, idk but I feel like I want a boyfriend, like the guy that I've been making a fake scenarios I want him to be irl like yk what imean? I created a fake scenarios in my head about this my "imaginary boyfriend" ekk that was really cringe but anwys He's way too perfect in my head, like that what makes me want to have a boyfriend and I'm telling you rn it cringe me writing this cuz ehh It's so bad cuz every attractive guy I see on TikTok I imagine them as my boyfriend 🥲 lmao ik it's so scary and weird, that's when I realized it's so bad and I need to stop doing that. And also I have started watching kdramas again and yk hwang in yeop? The second lead on true beauty? Girl he's so beautiful like I wanna marry him!!! But no lol of course not cuz he's already 30 but oh gosh he doesn't even look like his age, he looks like 24 yr old 😭 But isty he's so fine, his eyes are so goodamcool! Everything on him is so attractive!!! I was really upset that he's not the main lead lol he deserved that place!! He should be the main!! Anyways I decided to write here so I can have answer in the future. Tell me is it really bad? Or it's just normal? Bcuz it really scares me that what if I won't wake up in real world and only live in my imagination since I enjoy making fake scenarios. But making fake scenarios of my "imaginary relationship/boyfriend "before I go to sleep can only help me to sleep faster, I don't want to have a boyfriend in this age like Helo? I'm only 15 yrs old and I think it's going to be a nonsense onece Once I enter in to relationship, I am really fighting my own self , like yk I'm trynna control myself fromwanting a boyfriend And oh ik my English is bad but it doesn't matter ok. Those fake scenarios I created on my mind was the things that I want to happen/experience in real life that I know is not going to happen. Can you please clear everything to me cuz I can't help it. Alright thats it I'm done, Pls reply to this!!!! So bye I'm leaving Oh wait what I'm listening to rn? Lovers rock by tv girl, this song gives me very much being teenager vibe :) What are you listening to rn? I am going to send this in 4 years, cuz imma be 20 in may 17,2026, 20 cuz imma be 16 this may 2022 ! Bye!!! I LOVE YOU!! We're beautiful you gotta remember that cuz I know you need this everytime!!! Have fun beautiful!!!!