A letter from Feb 5th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, 02-05-22 Right now i am sitting on a hammock beside the mango tree. I am so bored to the point that i don't know what else to do and i feel like I'm stuck on the same routine everyday. At this point i am clueless of what the future may bring and to be honest i am really terrified to be just a nobody in the future. I want to be successful in my own way, i want to support my mom and my sister. I want to have my own house. I want to be a registered radtech. I want to travel to different places. I want to work abroad for atleast five years. I want to make my life comfortable. But I don't know how to start. Also i may not admit it but i am really bothered that I don't have someone to listen at my sentiments that i resort to this kind of approach. I wish i can talk to someone about my dreams, frustrations and my happy thoughts. Everyone around me is starting to build a happy relationship with someone. While me i am just here at home. Always looking dull, dugyot and freaking hopeless. I don't have a friend that i usually talk about things like this. I even tried to connect to someone on dating apps but to no avail. Really, I don't want to be a loser. Without money, career, lovelife and a stable mindset. I hope in the following years i can improve myself and talk about this rants with happy replies. i think it is also helpful to write this things that is bothering me for so long. I have a happy family, we have stable financial support, i have friends but inside i feel like there is a part of me missing. It may sound cliche but that is really how i feel. I think this is one of the signs of aging. Thank you for listening. I hope you do your best and prove your worth. I love you self. I also miss my dad.