A letter from Jan 11th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I have no idea what I want to say to you but if you see this then I am so proud of you for making it this far. You’ve been through a lot I bet but you’re still here and I hope that this letter pushes you to continue pushing through. Are you in college? I would think you are, a freshman again, freshman year might seem like forever ago from now and I’m hoping you’ve changed, even just a little bit, physically, mentally, or emotionally. You still wanna be a psychologist right? I really wanna help people mentally and listen and be the reason someone smiles for the first time in forever. That job seems like forever from now to get because you have to get a doctorate in psychology but I believe in you. :) Are you any more confident in yourself because right now I am not… I don’t want to list them in case you’ve forgotten about some but I hope you just learn how to love yourself. I can’t say that I love you right now because you’re me and I don’t love me, but with time, I feel you’ll be able to look at this letter and say that you love me and if you can then I appreciate it, I really do, if you read this and can say that you love me and really mean it then I am so so proud of what you have become and how you you’ve gone from here. If I sit alone in my room for too long without being busy my mind wanders and I don’t like that, does your mind still wander? Is it worse? You know what I think of so I’m not going to state it, I don’t want to make you cry too much. Right now we’re living in a rental house because our house isn’t done being built, it’s better than sleeping on the couch at itas house, I have actual privacy and get to be alone, it was stressful spending all day everyday with the family. You know math is pretty easy right now, never thought I would ever say that but it really is. I hope math stays easy for me. Do you have a style? Or do you still just roll out of bed and do your hair haha. I hope not. Do you take morning classes, I really hope you don’t do that either because you need time to get up in the morning, I am not a morning person and I really don’t think that is going to change. I told myself that I am only going to do cheer through high school then be done because I’m tired of it already, all of the cheerleaders are annoying and I feel insecure around them so after senior year, we’re done right? Can you still tumble? I’m working on my round off back handspring right now and I’m pretty comfortable with standing back handspring. Can you do a tuck?? That’s my goal for the end of the year but I really don’t think that’s going to happen. Did you become an officer for stuco at all? I kinda want to but I don’t know. How’s the family? Do you visit? Do you live close enough to the point where you can go home everyday? How are Iris and Lexly? Do you still talk to them? I would be so surprised if you do because I don’t really call or talk to them that much anymore. Are you and landyn still together? If you are wow, that’s a long *** time girl, you really like this one huh. He really makes me happy right now, I love facetiming him and talking to him and spending time with him. If he leaves it’s really going to hurt.. He’s got covid right now if you didn’t know and I’m not sure if I do too or not. Anyways, yeah he’s a good one, you are one idiot if you leave him, he cares so much about me and really makes me feel like I’m the prettiest girl in the world. The way he talks about me makes me sound perfect. Mom doesn’t believe that high school relationships should last because she says that people change, yeah duh people change but I feel like even if I do change that me and him get each other perfectly so we can grow or change together. I really didn’t think I loved this boy at first, I was going to end it, but there was one day that we got into an argument and he said that he wants me to be happy and he thinks I would be happier with someone else, I cried that night, I cried the hardest I had cried in a while, I don’t want to lose this one. Pretty sure you remember this but I was born in San Diego, California, grew up in Rowlett and moved to fate at 15. I went to Abbett Elementary school, JTCMS, and Lakeview Centennial High School. I joined cheer at 9 and I’m going to keep cheering until 18, was a bear for 3 years, a viking for 2 years and gonna be a patriot for 4 years. I played volleyball in 7th grade, B team… but I like to play volleyball with my sister. I had best friends Iris, Gracie, and Lexly in middle school, still talk to Iris and lexly sorta but Gracie fell out. I dated this one boy summer of 6th grade and he had me obsessed with him and he was just playing with me and that hurt. I hope you pass all your classes with 80’s or higher and stopped procrastinating. I hope lifes treating you well and I hope you’re happy now. Thank you for keeping us alive this far and I hope we continue to grow old with a family and friends. Best regards, Your past self