things havent changed

Dear FutureMe, read the whole thing only if you need to refresh your memory BUT if you dont scroll down to the SPACED PARAGRAPH beginning with BTW. As you know you are with this very nice guy that you would say looks dont always matter. youve been with him for about a year and 2 months and you would say that is a pretty long time. (in the beginning you were too good for him) anyway you guys have been through alot especially with your parents. i dont know what's the bigger problem his age or his religion? but anyway on december 10? jen encountered what she thought was a robbery remember she screamed for your brother and then all hell broke loose inside joke. your parents found out and told you that they were going to take you away! not just from him but your future! you were frantic you lost your place in life especially school you thought evrything you do was going to be worthless. so you thought the only way for my parents to be happy is to lose all contact with him and you were going to do that by not telling him whether you were coming back or not and then evrything will be good with your parents. The trip to PI...December 31, 2005 it was amusingly shocking! how can the people live there i could never live in those conditions i would die there seriously. the houses are home made (carboard looking things), the bathrooms look like a bowl and a water hose, The prices are so expensive and the people make so little (a month) how do you expect their house to look colonial or their bathroom to have a toilet and a bath tub? you were totally homesick. homesick is a good word for him because you wanted to go back home and see him get it. Well one of the major things you thought about is that if he really wanted to be with you then why cant he wait for you. Instead of being with you until something stops you and him from being togther. you want him to wait til you're able to move out and have the freedom you cant have living under your parents roof. but of course living under your parents roof can be until your 24. your parents are really concerned about you doing good is chool they want you to be able to be independent so that you dont need a man finacially that is. (your mom and dad have some rocky history) The trip back home...January 1, 2005 you hope you learned your lesson right? wrong! you saw him on the 4th and you shared w/ him what you did major thinking on...you were actually hesitant to tell him because you thought that he wasnt the kind of guy to wait for a girl (doesnt believe in "breaks") that he is uncertain about when it comes to pacific things. just how you dont tell him you love him for some odd reason i still dont know why. your friends tell you that your in denial of how you really feel for him because you wish he looked a little more like the guy of your dreams lol! but seriously its probably because you and him are very opposite of eachoter and hes not exactly the kind of guy that you imagine yourself with. your family is rich and his is poor (his family is his mom and sisters). you are family oriented and he's friend oriented. you 2 are very different when it comes to opinionated questions... for example: would you go out with someone who you know has a consistent past of cheating and lying? obviously he would say yes you dumbass thats his ex (lol) you asked him that before you knew the history of his ex BTW you still have an issue with him and his ex. to many people it is a really small stupid complaint but to you it is BIG. Anywho it seems like whenever he talks about his ex he always mentions how she looks fine sexy or whatever! and you saw her real picture not those photoshop made ones you put on mysoace (lol)...and she doesnt look that "fine" and you do have a good eye. he always talks about how you're cute and shes more of a sexy and you think that you could be a sexy too its just your horrid voice sounds too babyish cuteish you hate that. you've become really insecure after he started talking about her you always nag him about him not telling you that you are sexy. hes not looking at your face when he says it!!! it was only recently (decemberish) that you HAD TO TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE TIRED OF HERAING ABOUT HIS EX. you had to tell him that because he said a lil something more like" If my ex never cheated on me I would've never met you". That's never accepable you know but you're over it because you guys argued about it. so i hope that you get over this also. Its really horrible to know that you're going to let him take away your self confidence. take that advice! if you still havent changed okay? well and you're really curious about this waiting thing you know and if he's still with you now then c'mon express how you feel atleast a lil OLIVE JUICE okay then you'll hear more from me later