A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, Hey! Long time no see, obviously its been a moment. How is life going? How are your grades? Hope you got the grades you really wanted to get, well us. Right around this time next year we would have set out our University applications, and would have already done so much. I am so proud of you. I know you could so much. I love you. Did we apply to all the universities that we wanted to apply to, it might have been really risky being all BMAT but...? Hope we did that application to Cambridge? If you did, around this time you would have to be doing your Cambridge interviews, if so this email will be some motivation, if so, You've obviously worked so hard, nobody deserves it more than you. I know how hard you've worked (yeah duh I'm you). You are just as capable as everyone else that is going to be there. Please just do you A-Level revision and you will be fine. You have done the hardest part. I can promise you that. Well until you reach medical school but you already know that. It might only be a year from now but you know how it can be, a moment can change the whole course of one's life. How are your friends? Still friends with all the people you made friends with? Even better made more friends? Do you still sing your heart out everyday, even if it bother everyone around you just because you like it? Do you still play the Piano? How's it going with learning the guitar? I hope its going better than what going with right now- How's the dog? How's Dad and our Sister doing? Do we get the diagnosis that we've been waiting for? (probably not but its a good wish to have). How's it been in the relationship department? Hope it's been doing well because you'll remember it's a little lonely out here... Do you have that person who you can unconditionally go to when you want to go talk to? Someone that I really need right now. I really do hope everything is going much better than what is going now. Most importantly, how have you been mentally? Really? There is something that I really need to tell you, something really important, no matter how you feel, no matter how broken you are at the moment. I will always love you. I don't know if you still need to know this, but I probably would have loved to hear this from past me. There is nothing that could stop me from loving you. No matter what, little you will love you with all she has. P.S. Faith says Hi Written, To, 16 Year old you. 17 Year old you.

Epilogue

42 minutes later

Hi past me,

Oh how much I would love to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug ever. I'm so happy you decided to live. Best. Decision. Ever....

Lghhigttw,ie your ot entw ogt sith lsot ,tpayr realisde jylwree uoy ouy r'nate of tfsri eayr tlso adn a. Erlaend tginh ot that levo uolfyser eht you fo aws gtebgsi a,ll. Lreayl dna st'tah lla tmtsrae atht. Aasndrtds fo uhgtho ivge and raedsi ryuo i ehacs gyus t,iotatnen glreon acn no neigsl, hte sa,y sgtstlihe have ohw oyu oyu ltils tbi. . . Uthgho lcerynte lony. Ot i dan lwel eed, pdacremo ywa evha a iogng oeewmas ameews,o aer tills og! lgno htnki to aer edgars noigd we oru ,ab*a oru ew.
T'nca )iythgnan dtie sjut eirelads dna go bkca i( i. .
Eavh i'st ennasi os you esf,dinr amyn aemd. A relruga adn ysug oyu ot acn iekl bgnei nauhm aktl. .
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Noit a anth a octord ,uenj eebocm idelmca go uortde to ni dedidec deam dna isavmes earchesr ew. Uoy nad utaarln erwe to ayaiclbsl sce,scine do wto buato cdeeidd elapdpi iikgnnth ot. Two dna iun rsfofe raesgd tpi,iohbssciy you a ecmbeo tnaw and won omwaese iwht to. Nhikt do it i nac ew. Aer admurh luc aubto oyu treurlncy ot ihnkntig or gnoig. Npdsdee ucl sevgi you if eht oefrf. Rn,tweevii at gbcmairde itgrh uoy reew dmeees it ,slyad trihg fmro fit tub eht ddieced oghuht foereb a we yhte rtedcjee i,tme got. Rgdenia yea,r minnaiggi ahve me siht lwodu rdtaehets ltas. Os elwl si tvieryegnh oingg but ehva ,ucmh ongwr we nda so. .
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Ti it anc in a emcos hanceg ,nmmeot wneh can ot yigtnahn eth,. Dare uyo toni aws ti to thorw lla lfie one a lwoeh in book took ot initcreod rof fnitfrede uyo. Ahtw yreve olflwo hrtea teru tsi deedidc ouy dan ruyo ,yass adteys to.
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Si eth we i eht gigno ad(n i itsll are say to ahret ym rgtae gisn i rtigau and iopn,a ylap tuo veha onm!!gipr)vi,. Yuo ist a atn'c tub ewf yoka sdhcro do. . . But od stmo ggoin wlle atgre fo oyu ctna' hmet tis. Pu linoiv nad rfo a lsoa eht yv'oeu inreayng lyealr dickep olcle gn,aai. Iskc sadd eitm ouy of atnlkig misuc anc lal ouy obtua i tulyesloab eht eltl. .
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Tiessr eht ed,b odngi eth at is fo dad ym nad ftoo asoewem lnrcretuy peslnieg ear dgo. Crzya oyu so wsa no rstip aradbo mnya twne ti. Dnenidceeenp you uoy elropxde. A einc tgo oeapr of ouy eht ccoah sinttoa ikiw adn pamtohn a in ot rdei aws teh by nnldoo nvee efre. Esirst rou tst'bu got cumh i hte lslit l,eorcs ruo dna in pani. Ruoy urte moevd acme uoy teh oor,m toni saemllr hisw. 'netra pactre mrnoyae sit the rolsfo cyaz!r.
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Whit ew teh tgo smot of dort'soc tnweda fufst we hte hiwt nsaeddogi. Ouy otu tneurd pr,hyate tgo and atger irgeyehvtn. Ubt it ew ucsbeae cak,b yuo dame itsh ahd pihrdsahs ceonbu ea,ry ew okwr anym aawlys. Is srdeec,aed hucm ngogi aimseignr eselp vahe nfei royu etprty yuro. Got htat whit tnremaett daeginsdo sedoenipsr but gtiinwa ltlis uyo egt ot era. The swa you rwseo on hte tmei eht ta ictaimndeo cgunias snrpoeiesd mkigan eerw. Eht os!pern os utb wne ewn ,worg umch oicitemdan a uoy tilsl ihwt to had ear elki.
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By wno hutgoh still ioecch seingl, we ymbae tis. Nggoi epke rehte ebne oriusts stamr oyu rfo ssoleah eht evha tub. On a ubs with in olve yug you ddi het lfla. . Ghthou ot uyo veen him veenr pskoe. It taubo yazcr! yuo popedp up, yuo lto nese isltl m,ya wsa dan jarnuya isnec nkhti he him huhgto imh ahe'tvn a. Rigorwyn ibt wtha eht ist tknhi i atnws a ahrte ubt. Hwo of v,nee iwll ryou ubt saedcu adn lieacsp sltil ont'd heav lla we lal you scmifehi eth nsietl ahev ot buorselt thta stih htat ryea ahev dan lal eemsnoo uoy. Uyo atkl uoy ryuo otsm firdens ni eht to ostm 2022 atlk lal wlli eth ot ubt of oyu airldees of la,l ,oneply psnore. Elosfyur.
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Ksmoc i eyllanmt, heva ettgign agetr, rfo msaeowe! eydar nbee uro onigd. An as own you a laso do osla csspihy lvele an,flsehws. To wnat bjeutcs now astth het flie girth, esupur is e,thda scebujt ouy you tiayclev yse in the. Is tat?h nynuf owh.
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Sp. To iftah lodt ih ttha hes me lsoa asdi reya a gao i. Llo.

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