A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, If you’ve made it this far I hope you know how much of an achievement that is. Right now you are at the lowest you’ve been in a while. Everything feels wrong and your anxiety is overwhelmingly active. The only grounding aspect of life seems to be your friends and songwriting. When was the last time you talked to May, Jack, Maya, Nick, Gracie, Katie, Elena, Katherine, Kate, Ella, Hannah W., Zach, Hannah R., Kara Anne, or Ahni? It better have been recently. Today you got an electric guitar for Christmas. You better have used it for something marvelous. Your fingers hurt from playing it so much. Do you still write songs? Did you ever release music like you always dreamed? If not, get on it for me. You planned on being an English teacher. I hope that worked out for you. You can change so many lives. I know it. What was the last book you read that you truly enjoyed? The last song you listened to? The last movie you watched? Go listen to your December 2021 playlist on Spotify and remember the awe you felt at my age, listening to songs you could only dream of emulating through your own music. Go watch an episode of Bob’s Burgers (you know you love it). Reread ‘The Secret History’ by Donna Tartt. You probably have graduated by now so I want to know, what has changed? Have you dated anyone special? Are you dating someone now? Just out of curiosity how did the thing with Sohini work out? Do you paint your nails or are you “put together”. Do you have piercings and tattoos? You’d better be kicking the *** of societal standards. If not go paint your **** nails. Did you stick with English? Do you still have the old Mazda? Do you still talk to your parents? How are Sam, Nasha, Caitlin, and Morgan? They may not deserve it, but reach out, check on them at least. They’ve had to suffer through much of the same as you. Most importantly, are you ok? I’m not, but I hope you are. I hope you’ve been medicated for all your issues (God knows we need it). I know it’s ok to not be ok, but I hope at 22 I’ll be close to being ok. If not, take a deep breath. Let it out. Talk to a friend. Go out and do something. That always makes you feel better, at least temporarily. Don’t turn to drugs or alcohol for happiness. I’m not saying you can’t do any of that, but we have an addictive personality, you know that very well. May always worried that if we went to live with Zach, we would become addicts. I hope she wasn’t right. Tonight I watched It’s A Wonderful Life, as I do every Christmas. That is the one movie that never fails to make me cry. If you’ve forgotten, I want to remind you of this one message from it. ‘No man is failure who has friends’. Remember that. You have so many people who do love you now, I can’t even imagine how many people you have to care for you now. Go get a drink, hang out with some friends, kiss someone you love, or just paint your **** nails. Whatever you do, do something you enjoy. Love, Patrick