A letter from Dec 25th, 2021

Dear 23 yo Maria, How are you doing? I hope my math is not wrong and you're 23 years old in 2025. I write this letter to you today because im full of doubts. Doubts that you probably will have already solved for me. I leave everything for future Maria to do, so please forgive me, i put way too much work on your shoulders. I really don't know what to do. It's the month befrore exams of the second year of Bachelors and I'm absolutely lost. This semester, only, I have thought about quiting college seriously more than 10 times. I'm starting to believe that this isn't for me, that I wasn't made for this. I'm currently commuting to college every day, which makes me a bit more sad and more stressed. Also this whole 2 years of COVID really haven't been kind in making new friends, everyone is so uptight with social interaction, it's so weird. When I go to college, I feel so alone and lost. I have been thinking of not following to the masters right away, even tho I'd lose all the privelleges. Deep inside me I wanna leave everything and go volunteer in the European Solidarity Corpses for 6months to figure out who I am. This year was so hard on friendships, I feel like I haven't made any friends and that I wasn't capable of sustaining the ones I had from highschool. Feeling like a failure in that area. The only thing that improved this year was my romantic relationship with Luis. I feel like I love him more everyday. How did that work out with you guys, I'm very curious. I also haven't been taking care of myself at all, way too much useless screen time everyday, not eating properly because I'm stressed, not enough exercise even tho I practice 3 times a week + 2 games. Like I said, not at my best right now. I hope you read this and you can see some improvemment, maybe some new friends, a goal at work, things figured out with college. I love you, 19 year old Maria