A letter from Dec 8th, 2021

Dear Faith, You have 20 ears in your vein of horror, fear and abuse, but in the last year that will shortly pass, you have become a better person for your own good. You accomplished so much at such a young age. Now tell me, somehow anyway, how are you? Has any of your dreams come true yet? At the moment you and Levi ar together and believe when i tell u, you will see this relationship as something beautiful, whatever happens. You got into many schoolarships in just one year of hardworking and i believe u will be happy in the following years, or at least alive. Did u become independent? Did you heal? Ik that is a tricky question, but did u heal on the most part? Did your brain finally decide u deserve to live and your bones to let u be free from pain? I miss the me who was less scared of life, but i sometimes think it was an illusion. Is mom ok? Is she happy? God know how much i need for my healing for her to be happy, i just wish i wasn t so depedable on her happiness to have mine. However, i would not traide anything to have her happy and well with me. Does she finally feel like u r enough for a family? Is that void finally full with the fact u r what she has and that s more than what many people have? Does she know about u being who u truly are? I will be seeing a psychologist in January 2022 and i will think of coming out to him and this way maybe if it s necesarry i will tell her myself. I tried many times but she will not accept me, at least for now. That s ok, i am cool with it because she loves me with all her heart and i love her just the same. I don t want kids, do i ever change my mind? I wish every day i wouldn t be so afraid of giving birth and i would be more ok with the idea. A few days ago i had a dream about it, remember? She was so beautiful, i just am so scared of going through that. Did u go to see Arctic Monkeys? Did u go on other concerts?? Did u start planning to travel the world? Reply here if somehow in the future that s posiible, thank you and i love you. With love, Faith