A letter from Dec 5th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hey shaf. Happy 21st bday! if you forgot, this is a letter from ur 16 years old self. Hi? how are you? you must be happy to finally turn 21. Are you in college? if it is yes then, next year must be the hardest year for you so, cheer up! I Am really curious about your life right now. I really hope i can go to the future and see myself there. Are u still a kpop fan? if it is, then r u still an engene? How's Enhypen doing? Are they still together? Are dreamcatchers still together? how's Jay? Is he doing fine? I hope they are. I'm thinking that enhypen is really big in 2026. Right? have you gotten to any of their concerts? What about a crush? Do you have one? Or is it the opposite? What's his name? Is he cute? (wkwkwk) Hows life? i just hope that it went well and ur living the happiest life that you've never felt before. Make sure, that u never went to your teen phase again. This is your chance to be happy, shaf. Don't waste any time. You're an adult now, and I know you can manage things more professionally than I did in your'e teen days. Hey, this is your 16 years old self. Shaf, I'm struggling with myself. What should I do? I feel depressed, and always overthinking, I feel embarrassed about myself, I'm struggling with my weight, my skin, my school, and my mental health. Im slowly losing myself. I have suicidal thoughts, and i almost did something...but i resist. idk what to do. i feel empty. here, my heart, empty. i feel like i almost lie about myself to myself. idk if you can understand that haha. No one knows about this cause I have no one to talk about. except you. Yes, myself in the future. I feel miserable, I feel like I'm going to throw up everytime i see myself in the mirror. The only thing that i can do is cry and sleep. I don't feel like studying or playing games to suck up my feelings. It.doesn't.work. Sometimes, I wish that I can fast forward to the future so that I can go away from this phase of mine. I hate myself so much!!!! I'm writing this so that you can always remember your hard times in the past. You may be happy now, but don't forget that you are struggling with finding true happiness in your teenage years. umm idk what else to say, but. I hope you have already found your true self there :)