A letter from Dec 4th, 2021

Dear Future Me, It's been long, and I know this may seem surprising- to get a letter from you younger self (unless you remember this, ofcourse) but I just wanted to check in on you, and see how things have been so far. The first thing I want to know is, are we okay? Have we finally found that happiness that we've been looking for? Did we make it out of all the toxicity, and have we finally found freedom? I really hope that we don't hurt ourselves anymore, I hope that we are finally content, possibly even stress free. Have you reached your goals? Are you a doctor, or atleast are you on that path? Maybe you gave up on that, or maybe it wasn't for you, but that's okay, because I will still love you. Things have been tough these days. My exams start tomorrow, and I'm more than stressed. I haven't been working to my full potential and I'm disappointed in myself for it. Things aren't really great with my social life either. Although my best friend is always there for me 24/7, something about all of this feels off. Why does a part of me keep screaming to run away, when she has done nothing wrong so far? Please answer that question for me because I really want to know! I've lost a lot of friends over the past years and it still hurts a lot. I'm sick of pretending that I'm okay and constantly smiling, and I just want to open up to someone. I already have to my bestie, but I don't think it was a good choice either. I want to tell everyone how I feel, and that they hurt me a lot sometimes, but I don't want to be selfish, and ignore how everyone else feels about that. I want to finds another way to cope with my bottled up anger and sadness other than having unfinished breakdowns in the bathroom, and the cold scratches on my thigh. Sometimes I just want to end it all, and go forever, but I know that if I did so, you wouldn't be there to read this message I poured my heart and soul into. After all, you're the only one I truly trust in this ugly world. But enough about the bad things! I have, since around July of this year, been obsessed with Harry Potter. And i want to get that shifting thing too, i thing it would be a lovely experience for both of us! And before you can even begin to thing that i believe in that multiple reality ********, I don't. In fact, I think that shifting is just lucid dreaming, but unless to make the experience more realistic and fun, it adds the whole, "I'm traveling through realities" thing. So yeah, hopefully by the time you reach the news, we'd have met Hermione, or Draco, or the whole Weasley family. There are a lot of other things I want to ask about, such as, have you talked to ...him yet? If so, what did you say and what did he say? I hope he was nice, after all we didn't crush on him for two years for some ****. And him or not him, have you found the one? Yes, I mean THE one? Does he treat you well? Or is it just more toxicity, like the stuff I stress over all the time? I'm going to make the letter short, I have chemistry tution and I need to go get ready. I hope you have a great day!!! Oh and by the way, consider this a b'day from me. Happy birthday!