A letter from you | Oct 30th, 2021 (Goosebumps, eh?)

Dear FutureMe, Hey bro,what up?? Hoping everything's awesome. Like for starters, you're alive, right? *smirk* So you're probably on level 31 now. How's the mundane life mate? You SHOULD have a car of your own by now. So do you? If yes then, high five. If no, then what the **** have you been doing the past five years ****? (Sorry for being harsh). C'mon man,ffs!! No pressure but by 40 you have to buy your own home! Also, you must..(not sure though)..you must have been married. What did Barney Stinson tell you? Don't even think of getting married before 30. But then again,it might be due to MOM!! So your wife,let me break it down. Beautiful (from heart as well), around 5'8" or more, has an awesome rack & booty, and caters to your every need. (Sorry babe if you're reading this too). And yeah remember, 1 boy (if you haven't disowned him already) & 1 girl (Ahaana wait for it Kaushal, this has to be her official name, if not, get it changed now. Love you Aahu!) only. Also your parents are with you. You're living happily together. All their tensions are now yours. Well, hoping all the tensions are gone by now. Wherever you're working, you should be happy & earning more than enough. You're still at Talentrack, aren't you? Also hoping you still are in touch with your squad - Mote, Bhai, Abhishek (Powder), Rishav, Satya, Shukle, Raj Bro, Patel, Saurav, Avinash? Just remember you were rocking 5 years back and you should be rocking by now as well. And you'll be rocking 5 years from now too. Ok,you'll have to write to your FutureYou 5 years from now. Keep the thread going on! And yeah, still a Culé. Visca el Barca. And remember F.R.I.E.N.D.S,How I Met Your Mother, Andaaz Apna Apna, Hera Pheri & Phir Hera Pheri? You better love your wife like Ted/Ross. Be a couple like Chandler & Monica/Marshall & Lily. The past 5 years must be as awesome as Barney Stinson. Now make coming years of your life legend *wait for it* dary!! And you,yes you, please WORK OUT and get those abs and body. And most importantly if you didn't keep your parents and yourself happy tilll now, just throw yourself off a cliff because you suck. And I licky boom-boom down.(HIMYM refernce mofo!!)