A letter from Oct 27th, 2021

Hey... First, happy birthday, I really hope we have an actual birthday in the future, do your friends remember it's your birthday? If yes, I'm happy for you, if not... don't worry, you still have me. How are you?... Although I'm the younger you, I'm also the only one who understands you the most. Have you bought yourself a cake? I know you really like cakes, and I also know you would cry if someone buys you a cake on your birthday. You have become a year better, what job are you doing right now? Are you happy with that job? How about your co-workers? Do they treat you well? Do you hug your parents every day and tell them you love them? If not, please do so, they are the most important people in your life. Do you still keep in contact with your friends? Who is your best friend now? The younger version of you is kinda suffering from depression lately, and don't worry, I will do my best to stay alive. It has been really hard for me these days but I'm trying. I have 0 friends, they don't actually care about me tho, it's just me, all alone. Hey, do you still faking your smiles like you used to? Sometimes, it's best to cry and let everything out. Are you trying your best? Do you have anyone who would sacrifice everything just to be with you? If yes, I can't wait to meet them, I hope they would treat me well... if no, don't worry, keep waiting for them. And also, just remember not to do anything dangerous, please think about the consequences. Hey, I know you actually are still a kid, you would crave attention, but you are afraid of expressing your own feelings. You get attached to people too easily, please think carefully before doing that, no one will stay by your side without any advantages. But I know you can handle it, why? Because you are the strongest person I've ever met! You are beautiful and I'm so proud of you. Are you crying? Haha I know you are, just let it all out. I wrote this because I don't have anyone to share with and you came up to my mind. Please know that I do care for you and there's at least 1 other person in this 7 billion people world who also cares for you. Is the future society still judging people? You have to know love has different forms, shapes, and colors, no matter who you fell in love with in the future, I support you, as long as they are not a bad one. The current society still can't accept that fact so I can't be my true self, I can't tell "her" that I need her, and... I love "her" Please take care of yourself, okay? I truly love you, from deep down in my heart and I actually hope that you don't receive this email because you are enjoying a wonderful birthday with your loved ones. Love, From the 17 years-old you who is currently thinking of suicide.