A letter from Oct 24th, 2021

dear evie, how r u? i hope ur doing good. I really do. Ik i treat you like **** but i love you. ur special and u need to know that. even if people cant see that i hope u can. i hope uve had a real gf coz i think we both wanna see how that would compare to liam. emma and alexia talk to u yet? or anyone from ps? ik i really miss it now but do u? its a bit **** we had to let go of everyone and we didn't have any chance to hold on. do u know why it happened yet. that might solve somethings running thru my mind. i love you you know that <3. youre rly pretty and im sorry i put u thru hell especially thru all the self harm and depression and ****. i want help but nothing has helped in the past so its a bit daunting. i rly wish it was easier. pronoun check? rn i go by they/them but tend to get misgendered a lot. whihc sucks a lot. i wanna be rly genuine to u but theres so much running thru my brain idk what to say. im rly hate my supposed best friend, claudia, hes being a real *****. causing me and my bestfriend, ash, a lot of pain. i rly hope u have left them or are doing better at least. im in my rental and its rly nice to have my own room. just hate that now all im left with is just my thoughts and my zero motivation. ive written some poems about how ******* sad i am and who i was or who i waned to be, who i miss and u should go read them. its the google slide called help. unless ur still ******* writing them. i rly hope ur in a better place rn tho coz u rly are perfect and i want u to know that. even when u think ur letting urself down ur not. even tho literally no one loves u u need to love urself. i envy what youre going to achieve because u can aim big. and ik u can achieve so much. u rly are a perfect person and should strive to just be u. because no matter if u fail or stuff **** up i love u. i do. im so happy to finally have met my future. i hope ur still alive and if ur not hi ash i love you and u meant a lot to me. i didnt mean to leave it was my fault. I wish i stayed long enough to read this. but u have it now so treasure it. u rly mean that world to me in my time. but if i am still alive im glad. u keep living because u have been thru hell and heaven to get to where you are. i honestly am so suprised by u. ik u put so much pressure on urself and it helps u to achieve high. ik u think u disappoint urself but im actually so proud u made it this far. and everything u have done to get to where you are reading this letter right now. i hate that your all grown up but it was a blast watching us grow up to what we are now. ur so beautiful and perfect and imperfect. i wouldnt change a thing about u. ever. i rly wanna uplift u bcoz of the hell toxicity of others caused u or is causing u and if ur alone with no one but urself thats perfect because u are literally so great without anyone else to drag u down but if u have people i hope they are people who deserve u. dont give urself anything less then what u deserve and dont give anyone else anything higher then they deserve. help ur self out for a change. strive for urself. and only urself. happy brithday pretty girl i literally am in love with u and i want u to get everything u need and everything g u work hard for. ur 18 now go have fun and reward urself for making it. u have such a beautiful heart and only few deserve it make sure to pick right. I love you i love you i love you. dont giuve up uve made it to a big achievement meaning all u can do it achieve more. even if there or downs or lows u can push thru everything because u are the strongest person ik and i believe in u and all u need to do that is self belief and guess what im u so u have that self belief. get thru all those exams up ahead and then u can live life to the fullest <3 <3 ur too beautiful, pretty, and gorgeous. love u so so much even if i dont tell you it a lot or ever, evie