A letter from Oct 24th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, How are you now? Today, the day Im writing this, I feel like ****. Two weeks after the attempt of self ******, things haven't gotten better remotely. Has the ringing in your ears finally stopped? Have the headaches stopped squeezing your head? Have you stopped feeling sick everyday? No fears to leave the house? I know we don't care about us like that so let me ask myself if I’ve gotten what I really wanted. Do I have someone now? Do I have someone I can devote myself to and be happy with finally? Right now I feel like I am a hindrance to peoples lives. On my journey to find love, every guy I’ve met in this dark episode has taken advantage of me, we’re doing things that we would never do. The sudden loneliness is crushing our soul and spirit and I’ve never craved destruction of my body so much. Im not meant to be here at all. So why are we still here? Is there a task I must complete first? Am I meant to bring life into this world? Is there a end goal and in that end I’ll be finally happy with myself and everyone around me? I don't know what to do. All I can think about is trying again and finally being gone, being free from my struggles. Anyways Britney, Remember to always be honest when writing to your next future self. Say how you really feel and what you’re really thinking. Bye.