A letter from Oct 22nd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, It's October 22nd of 2021 and I'm annoyed. I'm mad. I'm pissed. I'm f*cked up. I'm messed up. I just want to cry and disappear and scream all of these pain and problems I'm dealing at the moment because no matter how I tried to handle it, dealing it is a bit difficult. I'm mad at father because he comes back to drinking, again, which he isn't allowed anymore because he dealt with alcohol withdrawal syndrome last 2020. I feel sad and empty right now. I don't know what to do. My sister is gonna leave tomorrow because the company whom she's working with requested their cluster to travel to Davao and I don't know what to do. My father will be gone home wasted later and I hate that. I don't know what to do. Can I just die? Please. Or disappear cause dying is kind of a bit too harsh. My father doesn't listen. People, tell me what to do? I don't want to be sad anymore. I'm anxious. I hope you're doing fine, future me. I may not know what your life gonna be in the next 5 years but I hope you're doing great. I hope things are solved in the future. I hope you're still alive cause right now, all that I'm wanting is to disappear or die.