A letter from Oct 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Right now, life is good. Life is cozy. A few things are left to question but I’m very happy with my life. I still have weird dreams that encourage me to remember where I came from but nothing I cannot tolerate. I miss my old life, there’s no hiding that. I appreciate it and I know I love the new life I created for myself here in another state. Thanksgiving is around the corner and while it is always such a special holiday to me, it will be even more special this year. I am eager and excited to see my friends and my family! I am so grateful for the opportunities I have been presented in this new life. I studied to become a State Licensed Health Insurance Agent and I got it! Passed both tests on my, *ahem* second try haha. They were tough. Currently I am waiting on my license to actually come in so I can start training. I am very excited about starting a career with this amazing company! I spend my weekends at the beach. It is absolutely my all time favorite place to spend my time. Before now, I would save up my tax returns and as much money as I could and spend an entire week at the beach every summer. Now that I no longer live in a snowy state, and now that I live 20 minutes from the beach, I am happier. I spend more time enjoying my life and less time planning my enjoyment around work schedules. I followed my heart and it wasn’t easy. I made sacrifices, I gave up on things I thought I’d never give up on. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was a clear choice. Choose to love myself for once or spend the rest of my life convincing someone else I am worthy of love while secretly resenting myself for giving up on MY dreams. I feel I am different than most people. I feel like most people would take the comfortable way out. The way that seemed good enough instead of the risk. I also think that’s why so many people, people I think are good people, dislike my choice. It’s hard to not let it all get me down and I go to the beach to cope. I wish they understood but I can’t force them to feel my peace. Peace is such a luxury to those who feed their fires from drama and getting their enjoyment from watching others hurt. (Not that these people are this way, they are quite the opposite actually) just stating a point. I am happy to have now found my peace. To shut off the world for a short time and hear my own heartbeat in place of chaos and words. I miss my old life, I do. But I wouldn’t trade it for the new life I have created myself. I don’t know where I’ll be in 5 years time when my future self opens this message and reads it but I hope it’s a good place. I hope it’s a similar place. I hope I am still happy as ever. I hope I have successfully adopted another child or two by this time. I do hope to be married again. I hope the deaths teach me that life is precious and the births teach me that time does not stop. I hope I can help more people in my lifetime. I hope that my past has realized I am not the same person anymore and it is unwelcome. (Aside from this letter I will boomerang back to myself) :) 5 years is a long time so even if things have went south (in whatever way that may mean) remember this one thing: 5 years ago, (10 total years for my future me) you never imagined you’d be here right now (5 years ago for future me), happy as a seagull, bright as a moon, beautiful like the stars and gentle like the ocean. If you’re in a bad, questionable or down and out place at the time of getting this, try to remember that nothing… not bad, not good, not in between… nothing ever lasts forever. The sun, the moon, the stars above. Never forget what you are. - Luna