upset at the moment

just finished crying. my mom hurt my feelings right now, basically she said amin wants to go to brentsville and i said oh it must be because of my influence haha and she was like you shouldn't be proud of that, which makes no sense. so i said what do you mean, why? and she was like i dOn'T kNow LAiLa, why don't you think about it for a minute? and i was like ???? all i said was that maybe i influenced amin to want to go to brentsville. and i was like what's so bad about that, going to school is bad? and she was like OH because you learned SO MUCH at brentsville. and i was like i graduated didn't i??? hold on i feel like crying let me take a moment i'm back, i'm starting to feel period crampy anyways so i was like i graduated! and she was like yeah BARELY. and i was like???? and she and baba were like you got Ds and Fs... that was 3 years ago! and only ONE year of highschool! **** i'm crying again. i was so depressed, i was actively suicidal. i'm SORRY i got a D in my class. god **** who cares???? you almost lost your daughter and you're still talking about the bad grades she got 3 years ago????????? anyways it was just a weird conversation, i'm crying again. hold on i don't know why this hurts my feelings so much, god i can't even see the screen through all these tears god ****. like her being like iDk LAiLa, i think she was referring to the whole finsta thing? don't even get me started on that... i'm sorry, i'm SORRY, but she needs to get the **** over it. or go to therapy. or do SOMETHING productive. stop moping about your suicidal teen having an outlet that keeps them from ******* themself. i know i'm totally victimizing myself right now but i don't care. i'm really hurt by what she said right now. i didn't "barely graduate" high school. and if grades mattered so much to her then i feel like she'd make the As i'm earning right now a bigger deal. she really hurt my feelings, that's all. and i think the reason i'm so bothered is because i know i'll likely never confront her about this, or try to get her to understand, or try to get an apology. because she'll turn herself into the victim and turn it into a big argument and i'll regret ever bringing it up. i can never try to fix things because she just makes them worse. i might tell adi about this, i feel very hurt right now and i have a lump in my throat and she hurt my feelings. i don't care if i sound like a little kid, i don't like that she was being so sarcastic, i don't like that she said i "barely graduated." i did not barely graduate. if i barely graduated she would've had a meeting with the principal or my teachers. but they never called her in because i did not "barely graduate." i'm so upset, i'm just gonna go try to distract myself.