A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Edohp yuo ocen ilalcygma it riaees owldu liek. Ymna in ,wsya hvearei ,tfca ni ogt it. Oeeplp thiweg taht abekart,her euyvo’ eth tou ldou nkid somt kcse,stab loainetom ndt’o fo drarcei tabuo kalt dan nscuf,onio. Heer yte dan uyo rea iltsl. Yitgrn lsilt. Ti eb,trte whne neev csgionoh tllis hurts.
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R,aeys tihs ulfbaiute uhgobtr leif dlowr fvei htaoenr teh pats ni ouy into. Rtehe of rea eothrm uoy wno a. Reeht oolk uoy owh to adn shaumn rfo idcneuag ietltl feyas,t l,eov. Ouy are hwo lzaeeir roem tnah oyu lefe esetpid omes sya,d gvgnii hmte ouy.
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Beneilircd urteddaag idd ghotenims - oyu you. Ouy ,5022 neoc wtha in lsbieompis tfle feisidnh. Yaers woh hda now isevnor ouy ?oga you of wea eb in fo ttah viehteryng ehs stpo ot dulow.
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Dna hhotug dan a ichoec uyor meda hsa eht uoy tdeest ganai in eenb ftorh sha yepd,le uyo ldlepu atth veeal ahter to vnee apneoirishlt cbak. Atwns’ sekesanw a thta. Thnetgsr a ttah asw. Wtorhg hatt saw. Eevn ehnw nad it wsa uyo letf cgohsion ruoefl,sy utincnear figneryitr htta.
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Won yuo leef wokn i grhit ostl.
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Elik oryu wonk i kisd dna veosnir sa vhae,y fro lefe uoy not the fo ioasl,edt ’ureyo ulsoryfe bste hognsiw pu. A,phyp eilaghn thta lcduo otig-vehrn up elfe kwae eefr utjs and oucld hanppe nwko hisw adn el,who ouy i you.
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Nto hist h’tsat owrks btu how. ’eruoy nda nglafii enam dt’enso taht.
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At oen ont era abkc aeuqsr uoy.
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Hwo otlos are seeomno won yuo ash. Swanaeers. Enprixceee. Desnaoibru. Rouy ryou ytpuo—ds begni ehmt giaan izenogcre dc,o ouy enve nto ,nprodiesse teyh elfe are dlbynli amnoe,yr own nlldrcotoe if by udol igthr royu uroy aeni,txy.
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A nile is hegnlai gaitshrt tno. St’i semsy. Psolo ti. It esupas. Ti tesrrats. But elesf ti ndenuo emseoitsm hre,ntviyeg dan vnathe’ keil you o’yuev.
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Tlils oyu atth wetor ouy are buato sog,nrt ielrsteni ocne owmna.
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Emro ttha ’uoery nhta now uylaa,tcl.
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Awht rtaap epke adn yuo ot ti seelf know nwo keil easbuce litls ingog lfla.
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Feil uthrt, romf uyo renlidbugi a oruy cpela nto isalvvru fo aer.
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Keat yuo rea ot elwdloa ouyr eitm.
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Easm and to lefe ads edawoll uhoflpe you hte item rea at.
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Tuo owllade tye lla it aer egiufrd vhea ont ot oyu.
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Htaw iht:s si astterm.
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Ygntri rea you.
Btteer era ionhoscg you.
Ouy era heer llsit.
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Migetonhs fo dan taht eb dopur ot si.
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A royu eedn svineor ouy ’dnto of sikd reftecp.
Yhte arel eno a ende.
A eno naeglih.
Oen orgiwng a.
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Era si uoy telycxa hwo ahtt dan.
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Gonig epek.
Ueqit dasy evne het no.
On vene teh dasy vehay.
Ehnw mgnkai evne ouy ekli elfe ont ue’yor prseogsr.
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Uoy rae aebuesc.
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This neo feel ayd, tstniig ta uoy in -eth ilwl oeufysrl cabk idpre fo on,nwkun srgntita os uoy and eno vierosn eth olko hcmu —odranev ciosamnpso ilwl.
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Not tosl rea uyo.
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Icombgne didlem of ni het uyo rae.
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Iwth oel,v.
💜 em.

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