A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ulwod aeseri yaallcmig cneo uyo ielk it hpode. Aftc, ni ,wasy got ni anmy ieehrva ti. Sotm erh,kbretaa oelepp fo botua mntioealo that u’yove nad f,nusioonc eht tkla ’tdno ct,sbksea luod uto arirecd iknd giwhet. You ety nda tills rhee rea. Llsti rigtyn. Rtt,eeb veen ltisl tshru enwh schnogio ti.
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Otin ifev ratenho apst lfei in bgtorhu er,ays thsi ordlw eth ouy buafetliu. Rea a oyu won trehe fo emroth. Lkoo ndcigaue dan yuo to rfo love, reeht iletlt how sfy,eat amushn. More oesm rae pidseet y,das uoy relaize mthe uoy ouy vgnigi woh tahn lfee.
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Uadgardet uyo dcrnielbie - idd you oeimthnsg. Tfel in leiiobmssp ouy dehniifs hatw coen 205,2. Oyu to esh gntvriyhee in ttha eoinvsr be ouy dlwuo now fo of ayres ?aog ewa dah owh spot.
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Htat mead uoy ash cbak lldupe icecoh ash uyo thhuog ouyr heatr enbe ni ply,dee veen rapleshiiont eht ettdes gaian to fhrot dan a veael dan. A atth ntaws’ enwakses. Atht a aws etrhgtsn. Aws htta hwrotg. Schoogni ttah ti eenv eintirrygf atinrecnu dan felt hnwe yuo l,eyruofs wsa.
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I lsto thgir now flee know ouy.
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I ikds fro ldietaso, eilk irnsevo bste hogsnwi yuo eefl ,havye pu seorlfyu as otn oyur and fo know het ury’oe. Ocldu -grtvhnieo dan sjtu olcud lefe ouy i wish nda efer ttah lahgien leow,h pypa,h up kwae anpphe owkn uyo.
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Kowrs owh not tish btu ’ttsah. Ttah anme nad ’oeury e’ndots galfini.
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Nto yuo era ueraqs ta kcba oen.
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Hwo onw nseeomo otosl sha oyu rae. Weasesanr. Xepneeriec. Enaodibusr. Ihtgr etmh rouy nwo amor,nye ginczoere yb fi dto—suyp o,dc era yrou yeht ton ruoy eefl giaan ynldilb ntaei,yx reldocolnt neve re,oinsdeps you uryo ingeb lodu.
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Gehlina ienl si a hrtsigat not. Ti’s esyms. It slpoo. Speaus ti. It rttersas. But emoeitmss ti slfee elik you enuodn nad thevirneg,y yov’eu hve’tan.
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Era hatt mowna yuo erowt touba iltls eierilnts ouy onec stgo,nr.
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Own emro ,ltlaayuc anht e’oury htat.
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Seelf aptar tslil esuebac dan it okwn ggnoi wno peek ot uoy ahtw ekli lafl.
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A apcle romf httur, lief ravilvsu uory of gdeirlnbiu ear oyu tno.
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Ouy rea yuor ktea emit ot alldoew.
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Pelohuf lefe nda esam the rae ewdalol ta das uyo itme ot.
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Ti to you laewlod heva not otu tey lla edrguif rae.
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Is s:ith htwa rattesm.
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Rea yuo nitrgy.
Snioohcg trebte are ouy.
Ereh aer tlsli yuo.
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Nad eb ot si mghstoein fo hatt odupr.
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Fo fcrteep eedn ’ondt yrou you kdis a rivsoen.
Erla htey a ende oen.
A haglien eno.
Wnogrgi oen a.
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Ttha woh era ouy is nad cxlyeat.
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Gigon peek.
Euqti on ysda teh neve.
No ayds enve the eayvh.
Osrpsrge ruy’oe mgknai oyu not wnhe neev iekl efle.
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Ucebeas aer ouy.
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Voeisrn yuo eon ookl eylofurs in at tshi the uoy lliw psniosmaco humc sttnigi so leef evrnd—oa nad -het agsnittr ,ady fo edpri bcak w,uonknn wlil one.
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Aer stol ont oyu.
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Iboegncm fo ni elmddi ear yuo eht.
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Hwit vle,o.
💜 em.

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