A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Oyu neco hpode esriae clylaagim liek owdlu ti. It ,sawy anym ni got vehiera at,fc in. Ircdrea htta eghtwi e’uvoy ltak tou fo oelpep mots uoabt uodl rketaarheb, nsco,fiuno hte otn’d nidk tanoileom and assbct,ek. Dan yte hree oyu era still. Stlil gtiryn. Gnoishco neev nwhe rbet,et surht ti sltil.
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Isht fvie teh oyu ielf ntio bgotruh odwrl yrase, sapt in htreaon iefbulaut. Aer onw ouy rthoem a of heret. Anmhsu lieltt ,efytas etrhe uoy geiuancd ,loev adn who fro ot loko. Nhta era you hwo you ,ysda erzaeli esedipt them esmo oyu ggvnii elfe omer.
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Ddi seniomgth ilbinedrce - uyo udatdrgae ouy. You ltfe in oesbmisilp cnoe hisifend twah 052,2. Fo uyo lduwo had you in to of how yeasr be ?aog nwo awe yenvigtrhe veorsin htta seh otps.
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Eley,pd edtest kcab nda luldpe rhaet uoy ryou in vene nebe sah irnliopeshta gaain ghohtu orfht hte ceochi a adn tath oyu dmae evale to has. A ahtt ewksasen nsaw’t. Atht a aws sttghner. Torhwg ttha aws. Tlfe socgnhoi nhew tiregrnfyi saw ti that uinatrcen dna frsyl,uoe eevn uoy.
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Lefe i ltso nwo uyo igtrh wkno.
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Up oryu leik frsoeuly tbes ,yheva ksid orf i woghnsi ont vnrieso uyo atlos,ied kown sa er’you elef dna of eht. Pu eelf hwis wonk ouy and tath hgnaiel i ucold hivnrt-oeg you reef oelw,h kewa and pahenp oclud tujs h,payp.
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Nto tihs oksrw tub hwo stta’h. Enam dtns’oe anfgiil nda thta yur’eo.
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Ta rae noe akcb qraseu ouy ton.
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How aer hsa uyo eesnmoo wno tools. Sswnearae. Ecinxepree. Doniaserub. Htrig by not meht niposedsr,e yutpo—sd enev eonigrezc donocterll nliyldb lfee ouyr tyeh fi ,extnyai gaani dc,o yron,eam egibn udol your yuo won oruy ryuo era.
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A elni ihlgane is ont ahrgttsi. Ssyem si’t. Lpsoo it. Pauess it. It tatssrer. It tnev’ah setmsmeio and ednnuo klie uyo eesfl yuv’oe h,tvyregeni ubt.
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,tgrnso ilstl ecno ortwe oyu otbau aer owman you ttha teneslrii.
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Ahnt erom ltlyu,aca oy’rue own atht.
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Gingo to nda pkee itlls aatpr bacuese eilk lalf wonk twha won oyu it lsefe.
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Fo rmfo pcela yuo ear otn feil huttr, rudigbilen a ryuo asvirvul.
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Keta rea temi oyu yrou wldloea ot.
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To ouy dna puehofl msea at het mtie elfe aellodw era sad.
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Ot nto ahve you out lloweda ety rae it lla derfgui.
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Si hs:it tmesatr wath.
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Era yingtr you.
You ear gonhisco ebtetr.
Rhee yuo lslit rae.
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Eb atth timnhogse to urdop fo is dan.
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Ksdi ende of tnd’o eptfecr oyu a oinrevs uory.
Tyeh neo a alre need.
Noe iglehna a.
A oen gignowr.
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Htat hwo aer ylxtcae dna oyu is.
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Eekp igngo.
Tueiq dasy teh enev no.
Het sady neve no yveah.
Eevn lefe gkmnai ekli wenh spgrrsoe nto uyo ’uoery.
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Rae usaebec yuo.
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Ihst iwll wlil and eno hte- at ackb eelf yuo you kwounnn, antisrtg a,dy cmhu istngti oen pnsomascio fo oklo yloersfu eth os perdi —rvnoade in eonrvis.
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Ton slot are oyu.
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Teh eddmli of in uoy are nmgioecb.
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Twhi o,elv.
Em 💜.

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