A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Sieaer oduwl ilcamygla ekli ouy ecno ti dohep. It got in in way,s namy ta,fc vreiaeh. Otu omtlinoea htat aobtu eraicdr sktaesc,b ihetwg nad ’tond tabherek,ra eht ktal fis,ucnono yuevo’ tsom luod nikd of peolep. Hree oyu tllsi rea yte and. Rgnyti sllit. Wneh ,bretet sitll urhts vene ti oscoinhg.
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The psat fvei yuo orhneta feli ilaufeubt tion htis in utohrgb drwol s,raey. Rhete uoy wno fo a era trhoem. Ot who shnmua orf esaytf, e,lov lkoo icgednau teerh tlielt dan uoy. Tiseepd elzaire tehm ntah ysda, fele oyu mroe uyo hwo omes igingv uoy are.
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Yuo - rdiebleicn oyu gaetudrda tsmigoehn did. You ecno 2052, hwta tlef hndsiefi ni soisiemblp. You voiesrn ot ulwod aew seh won owh vnyterghie ni uyo hatt of fo ag?o be had esyar tspo.
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Plosetinraih ainag ahs ttah ot eben teh dna uoy ttesed eldpul echcoi you ghuhto avele ,ledpey dan uyor kbac adme hsa ortfh ni a hater veen. Tath a keeswans ws’nta. Htta asw a segthtnr. Thrwgo ahtt wsa. Ftel sefyru,ol uyo vene it htat ucnirtane gcoihons wsa dna enwh yegtfrinri.
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Lefe i owkn otls onw ithgr yuo.
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Pu yuro’e fo steb skdi nkow your nad songiwh sa you otn iekl ivseonr i teh fro sd,iaoelt rueyofls yv,ahe lfee. Leef pha,yp inlahge nad ouy w,lheo htta peahpn tusj i ucdol shwi efre dan wkno ouy lodcu waek up ovg-ehirtn.
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Staht’ isht owh ont btu sokrw. Ilifnga dnsto’e eour’y emna nad thta.
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Kcab noe qaersu ear otn at yuo.
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Ear ouy ooeemns woh own oolts ash. Ensraaews. Ecpienrxee. Neobsaurid. O,cd ibegn fi ont fele nvee uyro oyur ybnlild p—soduty rtigh ulod by p,nisreoeds gania ouy era royu rnoamey, dloonlrect xaie,tyn hyet zrginoece meth yrou onw.
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Tiashtrg is not inel a ielnahg. Smesy s’ti. It lposo. It eapsus. Ti tessartr. Ubt ti ielk ouy dan tmsimeeso eouy’v enhtav’ lfees negvth,yire nneudo.
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Autbo era nwamo coen you toerw reliienst uoy siltl ahtt otnrgs,.
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That ’uoyre nath claluty,a omer nwo.
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Abescue esfel ginog lfal still atapr ot nwo dan it iekl peke htwa wnko oyu.
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Apcle omfr rtth,u otn a uyro uyo are elif vvralusi of deinlubrig.
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Ot you oryu olewlad are ekat eitm.
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Sad flee hte aesm tiem yuo at era ot nad lfouehp daelowl.
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Yuo otn vaeh lal out ot yte it are dloeawl eridfug.
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Statmre :tihs hwat is.
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Tigynr ear yuo.
Are oyu ettrbe gsoicnho.
Heer uyo rae ltlsi.
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Si adn ot of eb sgmtnhoie rdpuo tath.
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Yuo isdk ’ontd of siovren dene a your pcertef.
Neo rela htye ndee a.
Eno a hagnile.
Oen a giwrnog.
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Tcyaexl yuo is taht ohw dan ear.
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Gongi kepe.
Teh nvee on asdy uiqte.
Hayev on eth neev sdya.
Osrerspg leef ont gknmai eenv enwh klie uyo ’eoury.
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Ceeuabs aer uoy.
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Ni ta lilw uhmc htsi ouy osnpcmsioa d,ya fo nittgsi kool rlousyef preid eon eon yuo seonirv -eth os illw adn ttasnrig elef oe—rnavd het nkounwn, acbk.
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Era you nto otsl.
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Are you idlemd ni of cgeniobm the.
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Oel,v tiwh.
Em 💜.

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