A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Klie eearis llgaymiac ti odhpe ocen lduow you. Aswy, ,fatc haireev in ti ni gto yanm. Tgiewh adn oudl inoaleomt dink omst atlk uto no’dt ueyvo’ ssbt,ceak fo i,csnnoufo eht eerktharab, edarric thta tauob eplpoe. Lislt era oyu erhe tey nda. Sltil gitnyr. Nvee tetrbe, itsll ti enwh nocohigs srtuh.
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Ouy stap lorwd fvie hutgbro fbtauielu ihst tion ni otarenh ,esrya eth lief. Rae hromet now you rehte a fo. To asyef,t itlelt ugncdiea lkoo nda uoy e,lov woh eehrt ofr saumhn. Reom athn ivggni aer edietsp a,sdy osem yuo elef erzeali tmhe oyu you hwo.
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Uoy riliceebnd ishoemtgn - ddi tgddauear uoy. Ltfe ni thwa iidsefnh ceno 250,2 ilopessbim yuo. Asery awe uyo who dulow oesrivn esh in opts ahd riteyvnegh fo wno of a?go uyo atht ot be.
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A the nda llepud uroy iechoc ahs eadm gthuoh velae to ntlhprioiaes yuo tath thrae edttse in eyepl,d ahs ouy bene eenv tohrf nda back naiga. N’tasw thta a senesawk. Aws tnergtsh a ahtt. Ttha thowgr asw. Tath ti aws ehnw etlf eevn rsolue,yf atnecnuri dan reigfnirty ouy scinoohg.
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Elef ihgrt i onw wonk ouy tosl.
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Yruo the ovsiner sebt rof of feel i yuo rsuyofle skdi nto pu as wsihgon ia,ldoets nowk nad ye,hva euory’ ikel. Ouy lhwoe, wkea htta hppnea dcluo nad ethno-rigv rfee wkon and y,happ ouy pu eefl i aigehln doulc sjtu ishw.
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Ahst’t ohw rwsko hits otn utb. Eu’yor aiinlfg dna tons’ed neam taht.
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Aer eon not at acbk asuqer you.
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You are who lsoot monesoe nwo sha. Sernaseaw. Nxeipceeer. Aieursdbno. Ormaey,n uoyr ,ainexyt own pstuo—dy lduo yruo vene iredones,ps itghr lnbdiyl ,cdo ngeib etmh feel otn they royu aanig otclnoedlr by if ear oyru ecinegroz uoy.
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Nto ialgenh arigthts si a line. Smesy sit’. Oospl it. Suaeps it. Errtssta it. Hyet,vinegr ti and eslfe eyou’v tub noendu ouy lkie ’tnaveh imosestme.
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Wmoan tboua itsnliere coen yuo tro,ngs oyu ear hatt trweo ltils.
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Onw ,laactuly yeruo’ thta erom htna.
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Ggino patra allf ot you ekep lkie elsfe nda onwk wtha cesebua ti onw still.
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Lvurivsa a not ielf linebruigd fo cpela oryu uyo romf rae tthur,.
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Uoy itme ruyo ear ot alelwdo kate.
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Ot meas het asd aer leef efuloph ietm you lawoeld nda at.
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Yet otn rea ti ahve you wedlloa egrdfui to all tuo.
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T:ihs whta mtsrtea is.
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Tryign yuo rae.
Aer cngsoiho tetber you.
Uoy slitl rea hree.
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Atth nda odrpu fo shgmeitno be ot si.
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Eeptcrf skid fo iesnorv rouy ’dton need a yuo.
Aerl eyth a eedn eno.
Eiahgln one a.
A oen rggnwio.
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Taht era how dna ouy ycetxla is.
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Iogng peek.
Qeitu aysd no teh vene.
Enve hyvae teh ysda no.
Ewnh efle ilek royeu’ ton esrsogpr mnkiag vnee uoy.
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You esbceau rea.
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Nonw,ukn ,dya feel so fo oklo at wlil oyu het nigtsti scsmoniapo irsantgt eno -teh eridp dna lilw isth one o—arnved yuo lefousry ireonvs chmu ni abkc.
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Ton era uoy stol.
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In uyo rae mldeid teh bmicogen fo.
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Ovl,e wiht.
💜 me.

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