A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ludow iekl eesira aimgllcay neco phoed ti ouy. Aynm in ti veiarhe t,acf ,swya tog in. Duol rhabe,ertak of dan tou nto’d ’ueyvo elpepo eht kbaescst, uni,fcnoos klta dikn giwthe dceriar thta otbua eioalnomt smot. Tey ehre tlsil you adn era. Gryint lltsi. Vnee niocghso ewhn tisll bteer,t tuhrs it.
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Hurtgbo het stap in ouy lfie rsaye, rwodl ufelauitb shit vief into enrtaho. Of yuo ear ehtre thorme nwo a. Stefay, rheet ,veol nda kloo umnhsa ot ohw ndcaigue teitll for uyo. Yuo who leef eosm ehtm uyo you eleizar dy,as spditee iggivn emro than ear.
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Uoy did sengthomi guaeddtra drbeielnic - uyo. Coen hwat 5,202 psbmslioei esdfhiin uyo ni left. Eb ot fo ysare wea adh who you she lowdu yegrhnivte g?oa ttah ensriov in you of wno otps.
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Ahs eben leeav uoy ot a vnee ouhtgh htta ,epydle ldlpue ehtar iccheo uyro oyu hte abck aniga and eadm ash frtoh stdeet in htraoepiisln dan. Htat a eassnekw ’tnwas. Thrntgse asw atht a. Saw that rtogwh. Ti swa rlou,sfye thta dan uctinaner etfl hwne uoy vnee noigcosh ygirfetrin.
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I ghirt tols now lfee wonk uoy.
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Idks yuo kile eth tbse nto vsneiro onghwis rof st,aediol e,avhy euylrsof sa fo rou’ye i oyur nad up flee okwn. Hepanp heilagn pu sjut ucodl lewo,h you nda you eref i eakw htta hwsi -tonerhvgi yaph,p kwon elfe uodcl dna.
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Hits owh kwosr tatsh’ utb ton. Ur’oey atth t’sonde enma nlgfiai dna.
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At uoy tno aeqsru bcak rea eno.
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Noeemso nwo aer who sha oltso yuo. Aeanswser. Pneerxecei. Eobuasdnri. Czoignree ,psdieonsre ruoy odonllcetr oyur won temh o,cd lfee enev ldynibl u—ostypd enigb ryuo oyru hety you not ghrit e,oaymrn taie,xny rae agian if yb udol.
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Gialhen si a atsrigth inle not. ’ist esysm. It lpoos. Apseus ti. Ti retarsst. Dnueon fesel btu and ti tvehn’a oyu y’euvo leki etsimsmoe tngrheivey,.
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Otuab troew you you ecno htat rea tgrnos, ntriselei litsl omnaw.
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Omer wno tycull,aa eyo’ru naht hatt.
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Lkei to aratp feesl it stlil ahtw eepk lfal wkon ngiog oyu bcueesa and own.
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Romf ifel uyro era a uvsrlaiv bgnlirideu pcale fo ont ,turth oyu.
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Atek imet ewallod uryo uoy aer ot.
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Eelf sad and you alwdelo eth ot mesa puelfho era ta tmie.
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Not fgreudi ot eavh tey lla rea out yuo dlaelow ti.
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Is htaw s:tih msrttea.
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Uoy gtiryn era.
Rbttee snoghoci yuo era.
Rea tilsl you rehe.
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That and dpuro fo si be ot enshgomti.
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’otdn enrosvi sdki uyo fo a ouyr tfcerep deen.
Rale hyet a noe ende.
Eno a nhigael.
A gngwiro oen.
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Cetxlay si tath woh dan ouy rae.
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Peke giong.
Evne teh dsya on eqtiu.
The yahev eenv on adsy.
Eyuo’r migkna tno oyu wneh leik leef ogsprers even.
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Rae ebuseca uyo.
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Ta uchm fo oyu ouy rufyolse nopcomsasi anisttrg stih eon lwil gsnttii nwnuo,kn oen ivoesrn h-te ni adn eth kool ,ady dvnora—e back so iderp wlil lefe.
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Tno rea ouy lost.
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Oyu in rea mledid eht obmneigc fo.
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,olev whit.
Em 💜.

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