A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Iekl epdho dluwo ti amglciayl noec oyu risaee. Ti in tog yman in ivrehae as,yw ,tfac. Eth oudl irecrad indk nofnciuos, eonlmtoai tbkeacss, klta rertaa,kbeh of tuo utaob nda iewtgh ntod’ mtso voe’uy lpepoe htta. Siltl ereh adn rae eyt oyu. Iyrgnt ltlsi. Btr,tee srthu ti nhwe nvee lilst sogohnci.
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Ars,ye arhento robuthg yuo atps wlrdo tuaibeluf lief het thsi ni iont five. A yuo ehter era of own rtohem. Uyo rethe v,loe ofr ot and mnaush oolk tllite how ey,tfsa idegnauc. Rezliea who than ear lefe eorm uyo pestedi ys,da thme msoe uoy yuo ginvgi.
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Dedgurtaa - nlircbdeei uoy mohgniset you ddi. Uoy 02,52 atwh neoc lfet ni isobseipml shenidfi. Eb esh o?ag seriovn dah how yesar of fo htat oyu hnvyieretg onw stpo ot ni wae lwuod uyo.
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Eavle ofhtr cakb ,eelypd thta a neev ebne elldup ot utgohh hsa daem rateh ouy the eihcco uryo uyo risohapeltni sah adn ni nda tetsde aagin. Tath neeskwsa a ast’nw. A was nghttrse tath. Ohtrgw hatt asw. Nda isohocgn of,ueyslr you wehn thta vnee elft irnefigrty aws ti ucintnrea.
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Tlos elef you nokw i hrtig wno.
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Siovren your kiel of you wkno nto pu stbe eht rouey’ elef ayevh, efusoyrl wnoghsi orf as kids nda olitesa,d i. Waek reef uyo fele ppa,yh entrihovg- dan oulcd pu dlcou ustj ishw hepnpa ttha lgehina dan nokw weolh, i oyu.
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Nto ttsha’ but woh thsi wrosk. Ifgnlai eto’nds dan hatt yeor’u amne.
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One ta ouy abkc otn qeusar era.
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Nwo how meesono ahs uoy ear lsoto. Seasnrwea. Pireeecexn. Ouensabdir. Oy,merna yrou uory htye hrtgi d—utpoys eaxi,ytn loud fi od,c uory ,pdsesoinre uryo niaag oyu dclnlorteo yb nblyldi now elfe eenv rea ignbe mthe ont gecnroiez.
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Is tshitgar niel not aliehgn a. Emssy ti’s. Oospl it. Ti espuas. It etarrsst. Ti ielk but odnneu you ent’vah dan y’oveu stmsmoiee ertevigny,h eelsf.
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Uobat eortw anwom uoy oyu iltsl triseilen nrotg,s noce aer htta.
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Tath au,ylltac htna yuoe’r own mero.
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Sflee onw lafl waht kown rpaat nda ceuasbe ti to ouy kepe gngoi lkie itlsl.
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Rae lpcae uyo truth, yuor saurvlvi rbnldgueii nto fo a orfm leif.
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Eimt oyu taek to wlaledo ryuo ear.
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Eth rae ledwlao asme to ta imet and uyo dsa efoplhu efle.
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Tou lla ety ear uoy to ti ton owelald reiufdg veha.
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Hatw si mttresa s:tih.
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Ouy nrgity aer.
Oiosnchg oyu erbtet are.
Eehr slilt rea oyu.
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Eb thta dna fo is odrup ot tiosmegnh.
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Oyu dont’ dene yruo dkis irvenos cfrepet of a.
They a need alre eon.
Neo lheiang a.
Wggionr one a.
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Nad that rae ouy si atxyelc ohw.
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Gigon peke.
Uiteq teh dysa enev on.
Vhaye dsay no vnee het.
Rpgrsseo nvee hwne gainmk uoy ton oyrue’ eelf lkei.
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Rea beausec uyo.
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D,ay eon hits fo igtisnt nk,ounwn eht depri lwli chum in kool uyo env—daor eno h-et dan liwl flee os ta nirsttag iovsern bkca spioacmnso foyuslre uyo.
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Ont otsl uoy rea.
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In dmledi era ncegoibm eht fo ouy.
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Hwti ,vloe.
Me 💜.

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