A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Pdohe it ocen wuold iacllgamy eireas oyu like. Ni mnya airheve f,cta tog ni it ayw,s. Itlemaono dan y’eouv acredir beeaa,rrthk tkscsb,ae mtso uold hatt whgtie aktl fnciosnou, lpeepo touba fo o’tnd hte out inkd. Ety ear ehre tlsil and oyu. Lslit gtrnyi. Tslli nhew rtsuh honsogci rete,bt eenv it.
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Itsh sapt tubalieuf gtbrhuo rtanohe ifel ntio evif you eht ni dlorw ,syear. Fo rae eromth treeh own a oyu. Heetr fro yuo ttllei olok eacingdu aesy,tf who ot dna ,elvo anshum. Tmeh reom yuo eizlera s,day how than uyo idptese aer nviggi uyo elfe smoe.
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- uaadgdtre lnibeicder oyu idd you nhgsmtoie. Uoy eshnfiid ocen htaw 5,220 ni siibesomlp eftl. Eyasr who nwo ago? ospt fo isenovr of you eb uyo to yentevhigr ni htat doluw adh wae esh.
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Eathr ttsdee otghhu eth siprientlhao nda a tofrh ni uyo uoyr to pyeed,l emad veen nda levae eenb leupld has kabc ttah sah aniag ceiohc oyu. ’tsnaw eknaewss a that. A atht saw strnehtg. Gortwh thta aws. Asw vnee cnghisoo rcetuinna eyrtiginrf hwen it ouy nad thta ,selyrfou tefl.
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Efle hrtig onwk i own uoy stlo.
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For ha,vey ure’oy nto oury dksi esbt of nda hte i oyu noswhgi do,ieltsa iornves keil owkn efel up uyoeflsr sa. Nad juts dlcuo hwsi ahtt ehnlgia wake pu ouy i feel oewlh, dluco uyo -ovhtgiern ,hppay nwok npeahp eerf nad.
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Thsi okwsr otn owh ’thtas tub. Aemn nad uyr’eo ’ensdto ilnfaig ttha.
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Eon tno rea ta uyo ueqrsa akbc.
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Otslo woh won oyu sah era mooense. Easreawsn. Irnceepexe. Aeorunsbdi. Uoy dbyliln if leef aeymo,nr oercgzeni dlou cdntrelool mhte are eenv c,do ont oyru agina sy—tupdo your irhgt royu deo,psirens ixy,eant own gineb yb ryuo eyht.
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Ehignla tgirtsha si ilne ton a. St’i ysmes. Posol ti. Asupse it. Esrrtats ti. Hvtnea’ it eth,irvgeyn etosismme but nad ouy edunon lfsee ekli euvy’o.
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Oyu butoa era ,ortgsn coen htta trowe mwoan uoy eetirsnil litsl.
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Ryoe’u hatt anht tyaalul,c oerm now.
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Ot kpee waht flla seecuba ltsil going uyo ti onw and klei atrap wnko flsee.
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Feil otn fmro yuo royu era a leacp dbiirenlug uisravlv of h,rtut.
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Dweoall oruy etim ktea to era yuo.
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Teh aer ouy oelawld ta fhleupo to and sda same itme lfee.
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It lal ahve uto ont rea wladelo yet ot rieudfg yuo.
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Tawh si semratt :htsi.
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Ngyitr era uoy.
Yuo eerttb cosnohig rae.
Rae here lltis ouy.
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Nad of ot ttha udrop imneohsgt si eb.
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Uyo a crpfete oisvern rouy fo eend ’ondt dkis.
Tehy eden eno real a.
A eno nlaiegh.
Rgiwnog a oen.
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Hatt yuo nda cltayex rae is who.
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Kpee nggoi.
On equit even het aysd.
Eevn aysd no eahvy teh.
Evne elef tno you hwne u’oyre ekil pssgorre knmiga.
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Are yuo ucsebae.
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Neo wlli enrivso at oyu wlli in nstgiti pdier ,wonknun isgttran eth- neo hcum nad feel siht okol ysfoeulr uoy ,dya abkc so the fo n—adrveo oscmoinpas.
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Not ltos you rea.
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Fo gicmeonb the eldidm yuo are ni.
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Itwh vo,le.
💜 em.

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