A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Ceno riease ouy mlygalcai hepdo wodul ielk it. Ni mayn ehariev in got it aw,ys ,cfta. Mtso noailtemo tgeihw ahtt dkni adcreir rbatkhare,e no’td vyue’o unsion,cfo elpeop uodl klat hte of nad uot a,sbetskc abtou. Ehre oyu adn aer yte tlsil. Llist ngyitr. Evne srhut ginchsoo itsll tbe,etr henw ti.
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Earys, tino ilef uyo evfi rlodw oterhan htis fuuaeibtl het atsp bhtguor ni. Ermoht are rehte fo ouy won a. To asmhnu nad oklo ofr uoy ltleit who deaniguc fes,ayt reteh ,ovel. Eomr etmh ouy ear nigigv aerielz owh ahnt ouy lefe ,sady semo estiped uoy.
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Yuo stimgnheo oyu ddaarutge - eibcilnrde idd. Flet tawh ni 5,202 yuo ehiinfds nceo eibmslpsio. Uyo ohw of tspo oag? own adh itveynhegr ouy seh vonsrei eb aew of ayres dlwou in hatt ot.
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Ot enbe ash ni kcab mdea hftro oyu nda dpyl,ee cecohi guhtho uldpel srohiplitaen aleve yruo dstete nad yuo htta ahter a eht gnaia eenv sha. Ssneewka a snaw’t ttha. Atth hngettrs a aws. Saw hortwg ttah. Was letf and enve ouy ttah higcnoso oryefu,ls nhew ucitaenrn it rnryiftgie.
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Itrhg ltso nwo kwon i yuo flee.
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A,evhy ouy t,iaolsed i ofr hte pu sa u’oyer nto ruyo vrseion esbt flee adn snoihgw konw dski lkie fo foeuysrl. Wshi uoy eelf nda ocldu ttah i alngieh voiengr-ht pu yuo nkow just ahpyp, ppeahn wkea efre nda hw,oel oldcu.
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Rwsko ubt athts’ ohw tsih tno. Tath and e’stdno fnigila ryeo’u nmea.
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Uyo noe suqrae at rea kbac not.
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Nmesooe woh yuo ear ootsl own ahs. Wnasrseea. Rexeicnepe. Udniesobar. Enev wno otn yom,erna soptd—yu ssipdoern,e do,c ryou odul uory meht ehty fi beign tghir you egniezroc oruy igaan tnyaix,e rae yb ildlbyn rodocnltel ruoy elef.
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Ealghni si hirsattg ont a neil. ’sit ysesm. Ti ploso. Ti espuas. It ttasrrse. Uoy sesmmoite e’uoyv it uednno nethv’a tbu tyevnie,grh adn ekli leesf.
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Ncoe btoau htta osrg,tn uoy rea woret slrientei yuo isllt awomn.
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Ttha rome ntah u’reoy wno cyau,allt.
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Elsfe ekil gigon now litsl uoy epek ti allf thwa uacbees and nwko aaprt ot.
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Lfei aer rthtu, yuo rasivlvu acpel romf nudrligieb a ryuo of otn.
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To ktea ruoy yuo eldwalo aer tmie.
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Ot at itme easm yuo eelf das the lopfhue are dna doawlle.
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Uyo rae rieufdg eavh it uot not ldwolea lal tey to.
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Is i:ths mestatr tawh.
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Ouy ginryt ear.
Era cihsnoog you ebrett.
Aer yuo hree llits.
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Dna be ot fo atht is rdoup tgoishmen.
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Oury of ndto’ yuo fpcrete a eden diks vinoers.
Oen eden aerl htye a.
A elhgina one.
Rigwogn a neo.
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Rea dna si ouy who tyacelx atht.
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Ggoin kepe.
Eht ayds iequt neve no.
Enve teh on evhay sday.
Enwh imkagn tno eilk srserpgo ouy’er uoy even feel.
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Uoy eseacub aer.
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Oyrfelus nmociasops kloo e-th nsoivre narttisg ni ihst mchu of day, erpdi bakc ouy rdova—ne titngsi noe flee so nad lwil the eno ,nnokunw lilw ouy ta.
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Era lost you ont.
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Ni eth dlidem era ibcegomn of ouy.
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Ithw ovl,e.
💜 me.

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