A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Iarese ceon ti iekl opedh oyu gayclmial louwd. In in tog ti veeahir atc,f ynam aw,sy. Smot besakct,s ludo trrhaee,bka dan taht n’otd atkl ewgith fo rdciaer otuab vy’oeu ocnfis,uon tou toolminae hte inkd eoppel. Aer nda you tye reeh sllti. Slitl gyintr. Ti rthus siohgocn eb,tert sllit nwhe eenv.
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Dlrow stih vfei trghuob ni het ronheta elfi uoy sayr,e euulbtiaf tion stpa. Own yuo romthe are erthe fo a. Ouy ucdneagi ,etfysa humnsa ot loko ofr nda owh tereh e,lov ltitel. Thna yd,sa gvinig oemr tmeh uyo ouy uoy zerleai omse flee iedpets aer who.
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Deadturag ouy - yuo deiirbceln ddi mhsongeti. Lfte uoy in 250,2 dihiesnf what iiospsbmel cneo. Ot ehs thta eaw otps of nwo eb ?aog ouy eosvnri tvrneehygi of in dolwu yuo ahd ayrse how.
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Dullpe plyede, otghuh thofr cabk ouy gaani trhaoplneisi nda in oyru veen ouy sah a evela tedest treah dna dame been to taht ash het oheicc. Aswnt’ a nsseekwa thta. A wsa atth stetrhng. Aws that wrhgot. Ttha ti atincerun fyloes,ru tefl nad igeitrynfr yuo nvee whne higcosno saw.
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Yuo lost i efel won tghri wonk.
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Nirevos slofruye yuo’er up dksi ton hiowsgn of dsloa,tei eefl ruyo as wkno nad i oyu ,eyhva etsb eht ofr lkei. Taht phnpae aeiglnh dna oyu feel gevrtnhoi- adn swhi ayphp, kwon efer kaew lucod pu i ouy docul e,hwol juts.
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Woh tshi taths’ ont tub owkrs. And taht aenm ’ruyoe lgniaif doe’tns.
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Uyo rseuqa at rea kacb tno neo.
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Now ohw stool rea yuo sah smeenoo. Neseaswra. Peenrxeeic. Isubdaoern. Mn,reoya emth are eelf uoyr yblldin eenv yuro ypsut—od if yuor einbg ctndrleolo ocd, agnai thgir nxa,iyet onw ton idnoerpss,e they iecnogzre uroy by olud oyu.
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Ont si nilgahe nlie a tgrahtis. Ti’s smyes. Ti soolp. It suaeps. Ti assettrr. Eikl ednnuo teh’vna emmseisot eslef ti ubt yitnv,rehge euo’yv and oyu.
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Taht nowma ear llist ouy ocen uboat ouy rognts, rotew retieslni.
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Hatt hant oryeu’ oemr lc,tualya onw.
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Pkee wokn lalf ot it ogngi rptaa onw adn kile oyu elsef itlsl cabeseu wtah.
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Era vvsaluri cpeal greilndbui ,thutr oyru from ont ielf a yuo fo.
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Yuor are ot mtie ekta dloewla ouy.
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Emsa etmi at nad ear sad elfe ouy pfheoul ot llwodae eht.
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Haev uot lal nto ti yet eawoldl uoy to gedrfiu rea.
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Is hs:ti hwta maerstt.
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Itgrny yuo era.
Aer yuo isoconhg etbrte.
Eher rea lsilt ouy.
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Metinghos ourdp be si of nad hatt to.
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Uyo ctfreep nevsori a dtn’o need sdki ouyr of.
Lare a tyeh eno eden.
Eno a anleihg.
A neo oggirnw.
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Hwo taht etyxalc rea dna you si.
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Ngoig epke.
Hte quiet eevn dsay no.
Syad eth veen hyaev no.
Eory’u gsreposr uoy eelf enve leik ont wnhe kgimna.
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Rea ebseacu you.
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Ookl chmu evnsroi lilw eon you eht- noe snttiig idpre uyo ackb the fo so uroefsyl n,nwounk flee iwll d—reonav y,ad nrgiatst ta sith siocmsaonp nda in.
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Tosl yuo not are.
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Rea oyu elddim bcomigne in hte of.
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V,elo wiht.
💜 em.

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