A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Enoc uodlw yuo ikle illcyagam eeirsa hedpo ti. Ni ti in a,cft anym got sway, reeahvi. Nda yevu’o toms oeplep criedra o’ntd oabtu atht kbtsceas, igetwh lduo hte fo indk uto oiatnlmoe oscni,nouf akabtr,here ktla. Ear tslil yte rhee uyo nda. Ltsil ryitgn. Nwhe onhiosgc it neev still hutsr bette,r.
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Ouy thsi iefl ni rtoubgh erntoah taps vief aesyr, toni etfiluaub hte dorwl. Tehrmo you a of onw heetr rae. Yuo ttelli ofr sfye,ta ot evol, mhnusa ereht eadcginu woh nda lkoo. Pdietse yuo are anth ivigng hwo ads,y you ilrzeea them elef mose orem you.
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Dcbierelni aergdadut - you ogisenmth ddi oyu. Ni 0225, wtha ismeslboip etfl dinehfsi noce yuo. You in htat had ostp of won how of serya ewa rniosev be hse you oga? vygiretnhe to olwdu.
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And iplrieonstah the has epdye,l coehci yrou ni ttah hater ash uedllp neev oyu fthor been vlaee aiagn bcka uyo ohtugh nad to a tesdet mead. Ttha answt’ nkawssee a. Htta a wsa rhsngtte. Hatt saw grotwh. Osnciogh atht ,yefuosrl was eevn tlef nda ouy nehw ti ntecnirua irnegrityf.
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You know eelf tslo i thgri own.
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Kisd i eatli,dso for het flee pu as lyrofesu yuo tebs of sowgnhi ’ueyro nto ersvion owkn ayhv,e ouyr adn kile. I udocl lw,heo lcuod uyo rfee dan heaignl oknw ahtt penhpa a,pphy hswi onvt-iehgr up feel eawk uyo ustj dan.
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Tish kowrs woh ’shatt not but. Nda nafilig royeu’ mnae ’odetsn thta.
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Cabk oen yuo nto at are squaer.
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Onw woh has ouy meoneos losot rae. Saereawsn. Ericpexene. Burdonsaie. Rhgti oyru psieo,rsdne tno evne own dlou cloreodntl cod, aiang fi lfee are yexitan, uroy zeorncegi ytds—uop by biynldl your ouy ythe hmte egibn uory ,aymonre.
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A is ont ghirtats line ailegnh. Emsys tis’. It ospol. Apsesu ti. It setarrst. Oimtseems ilke feels but ’ovuey ti eonudn ’anehvt nda uoy ,ervgyehitn.
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Toaub ocne ear ,ortgsn ltlsi ensleitri hatt uoy werot naomw yuo.
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Ryoe’u ahtt tclaay,lu oemr onw nhat.
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Ot thwa ilke dna aaptr kpee lslti lesef you bcsaeeu won ti onwk oigng flla.
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,thrtu bdguieilrn rae tno feli ouy romf pacle royu sarlvivu of a.
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Yuo aer to temi uryo eatk laedwlo.
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Eth eitm ta to asd elfe ouy dan mesa owdlale rae ueflhpo.
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Uoy udifger elawodl it ton ot uto tye lal era veah.
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Si ti:hs erstmat waht.
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Uyo aer tyinrg.
Hiogonsc you ettbre are.
Rea eerh oyu lstli.
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Eb ttah fo and uodpr omsethign ot is.
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A reionvs fo oyur nd’ot dnee oyu sdki ertecpf.
A dnee alre eno htye.
Noe inhlgae a.
Rongiwg noe a.
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Ecxylat atht si dan woh ear uoy.
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Ngigo epke.
Hte enev no qutie asyd.
Yads eht yvaeh no evne.
Oyu ehnw ielk nto sorpesrg feel eenv nikgam y’eoru.
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Ouy era ebaucse.
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Ttginis eripd fo you hist ta os t-eh elef het lwli eon uyo nagrttis ckab lwil yda, dvre—ona and look ouslerfy ucmh in paocmoissn ,nwunnko rsienov noe.
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Otn ouy ear slto.
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In of teh middle rea uoy encmogbi.
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Tihw ,evlo.
Em 💜.

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