A letter from Oct 1st, 2021

yo sup. it's 1st october 2021, you've recently shifted in your Noida flat. or "we" have. idk. you're doing good actually. on the face of it, that is. good money, good relationship, good times. happy and joyous, full of progression and hope and prosperity. then why do you not feel like this? I think we educated ourselves to such an extent where meaning has different meanings depending on whether you're sad, happy, angry or a cis-het man (remember these jokes lol, in this year everyone is normalising shaming and generalizing to save and normalise themselves. it's a slaughterhouse) you are in a relationship, from the time I'm writing to you. is she still around? I know you've loved this woman more than you've loved anything, but things aren't looking good right now to be really honest. she's a gem, but do you fit her ring? you remember how she helped you change though. I know you still give her credit for a lot of good things that we inculcated during our time together with her. if she's still around and you guys are doing good as a couple, just stop what you're doing and give her a kiss. or do that whenever next possible. you love her, that doesn't change. maybe you changed in the future or maybe she realised that she didn't deserve the pain she was getting through you, and maybe you guys split up. I don't know to be really honest. but if the worst hasn't gone down, get up, and give her the tightest hug you can conjure and kiss her. she means the world to you. if she isn't there however, thats okay. you probably felt embarrassment reading that and probably wanna cry right now. do it. I'm here, and I understand you completely. I love you dude. youve been through some ****. stupid, *******, annoying **** but youre here, just like I'm here. 5 years ago, you had a dream. you remember that dream? went something like this: you're up on the stage. thousands infront of you. venue lights are off, their phone lights in the air. youre playing your most personal song till date, and everyone is singing along. you made a difference, a small one maybe, but you made it. Remember how COVID was? (if it still hasn't gone completely, can you please scream for me real quick?) You made the most progress during the pandemic. Never forget where you come from. Remember the pain you felt during your first breakup, and how Illeniums' tunes somehow made it better. remember all of your countless hours just trying to make something like your idols. I hope you're at a point in life where your idols know you, but if you aren't that's perfectly okay. we'll get there. I hope that when you read this, you feel lighter. I know you feel heavy all the time (that reminds me, have we done something about our weight? for medical and aesthetic purposes ofcourse) but you're doing great in the past, and I will make sure you're doing amazing when you sit down to read this. Love everyone. Be vulnerable. I know you haven't done that, but you need to. if you have, I'm proud of you dude. See you after 5 years. -you