A letter from Sep 30th, 2021

hey there, we will be 22 in 2 months, you are in your lowest point right now but something's amazing just happened. you would not believe it. you supposed to have online class on thursday but you havent done more progress onto your final project yet you are scrolling tiktok til 5am. the last post asked you to shut your eyes and imagine your child self running hugging you, being a dumb, you did it, you shut your eyes. you are imagine seeing your your child self but she did not run into you, she look at you with those big curious eye. she didnt ask who you were instead she showed you her rabbit. remember the grey rabbit you had to gave to local rabbit farm before you moved out the town? you look at it! she ask how many books we have been read? you told her about rick riordan, jk rowling, this sick books talking about indian folktale; and she got really excited. looking at those innocent eyes, you unconsciously crying as she looks confused you said "we have to give up." and those innocent voice talk back "why we have to give up? i just finally able to rode a bike yesterday!" i laughed as it is very dumb, no correlation whatsoever. also i remember you were crazy about cycling, everyday when we were 4, before we moved out of town we go cycling around the neighborhood. while you laugh you open your eyes realize it's almost 6. you cried more til you sleep and woke up at 12pm to continue to cry. we talk to ourselves a lot, but this is your first time talking to your child self. you know, we were pretty cool back then. this imagination gave you an impact. big impact. that little girl wasnt asking for others validation, that little girl was just curious, she wanted to see the world and here you are on 22 able to show her the world with the good and bad in it. no matter what you do, she will be proud of you for fulfilling her curiosity. she implicitly said "you've come this far. great job keeping us alive, would you please take care of us for more years?" i know you did a good job taking care of us for 5 years. we always did, right? cheers, the grey rabbit owner