A letter from Sep 6th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, tangina mo, buhay ka pa kaya? kung oo, edi sige.  anyway, by this time, dapat graduate ka na or graduating pa lang? (idk i can't be bothered to search kung when yung exact date of our graduation eh)  do you still have the same dream, which is to be a doctor? i feel like this is not for us kasi so im just checking if you still fight for it even though andaming hadlang (eg. intelligence and abilities) do you feel proud of yourself ba ha?? kasi ako hindi. bagsak kasi ako sa lahat ng public universities na inaaplyan + dost scholarsip. i feel  so uncertain with the path that i'm taking. gusto ko na mamatay pls,, what's your current ate of mind? do u feel happy and contented, or are you still worried about the future? i mean, kasi diba we've been battling with this "anxiety"(we're not clinically diagnosed but let;s just use that term for our extreme worrying) without any professional help. i'm gonna cry pa pala kasi i made some wrong things in the class, zoolgy, plus the rejection from everything. all of these rejection really proves that i'm nothing but a dumb, lazy *****.  i hope you the best, which is *****. (dw i'll make formal one in case you're successful and such atm. i'll do it once i feel a little bit better)