to ash, 5 yrs from now

hello, 22 year old me:)) are u still alive? did u survive? I'm writing this from the year 2021. y'know, covid era lmao. How are u? Life right now is pretty tough. You had lots of ***** to deal with. Lucky you, you don't have to struggle anymore. But u know what? I'm ******* proud of u for coming this far. Who would've thought that you'd actually live longer than what you had imagined BSDHDWUHHGSG. Today's your lolo's ***** anniversary. Visit him, okay? Yesterday, lofra died. You weren't able to say goodbye but at least, she's not in pain anymore. I wish I could meet you rn. I wanna ask if things will get better because as of now, all I wanted to do is disappear. I'm tired of everything I wish I never lived. But on second thought, I'm also happy that I existed. I got to meet ppl who changed me for the better (Hello, Dylan mwehe). Speaking of Dylan, how is she?? Are y'all in college now? Do u still go to the same school? Probably not but one thing's for sure. Y'all are still the best of friends. 4lyfers, right? Anyways, are u still single? if yes, WTF ARE U DOING??? GET A GF/BF MF DON'T BE BORING. Oh hey btw, December 25 this year. Do u still remember what u promised to him?? Y'know, the mf who hurt u so bad. Meet him in Seattle. We don't break the promises we make. Once u see him, hug him tightly. Tell your soulmate u love him. And also, get him a gift. His birthday's on December 3rd. I genuinely hope u're happy now. Please be happy. Make the sacrifices worth it. I have nothing else to say. I just wanted to know if you're alright. That's it I guess. Keep going, Ashley. Live your life like it's ur last. And don't worry, you'll meet the people u lost, in another lifetime. So be patient and focus on what's happening rn. You can do it, love. Keep fighting. I may not say this often but... you're beautiful. You're worth it. I have to sleep now I still have classes mwehe. See u soon, future self!