A letter from Sep 1st, 2021

Dear Yan, I just randomly thought of you out of nowhere. I do admit that most of the time I do still think of you. Wishing I could run back to you like how I used to, message you and tell you about my day. Annoy you and be clingy. I miss everything about us. It hurts. Yes, it still hurts. I always convinced myself that I'm already through and I'm already happy on where I am right now. But still, I cannot deny the fact that I still miss you. My buddy, my everything. AHAH. Now, looking back to all the times that we've been together, I can say that I was happy. I was happy when we're together and even when we're apart because I know that you were my home and distance means nothing knowing that I have you inside my heart. Sounds cringy, right? haha. Now, we are taking and walking different part. I was sad at first but then I realized that I need to grow. I became too dependent on you that I somehow forgot that I have my own two feet to stand and walk. But now this two feet are running away from you. But it doesn't mean that I don't love you. I do, I still do but now, I'm trying to love myself more. Healing takes time. You were a part of me that I cannot just cut so sudden. I don't want to force things anymore. I just want to be free and be me. I want to know myself more even without you. We may not be talking right now but I still do check your messages from time to time. It aches my heart and I want to send you a message too to remind you that you are not alone. I want to cheer you and let you know that you are strong. I always knew that you are. I pray for your success in life. I pray for you safety and happiness even without me. I pray that you will be genuinely happy and you'll find your worth knowing that you are more than than those negativity in your mind. You can do things, Yan. I never doubt your capabilities in life and even I am not there right by your side always know that I am rooting for you from afar. Afar, somewhere even we are not together. Afar, somewhere hoping that on the right time we'll meet each other. Afar, somewhere where time is right and things are meant to be together and Be Your Everything. And even, even if that time won't come, always always remember that my love for you will always last forever. I'll be taking my own path for now, my love. I'll pray and hope the best for you. Stay safe. And see you somewhere in the future.