A letter from Aug 31st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, A few months ago I prepared for a new life I knew what to do, today July 14th I am really lost and I do not know what to do. I am a 22-year-old girl, I took my license last year now my one and only wish and to come back to France to finish my studies, but I was not accepted in any of the faculties so far I have a few limited applications left. Sometimes I have very strange psychic actions on me which come themselves, I have been thinking about everything and nothing since I was little I take responsibility and I have experienced a lot of problems because of my parents, whom I still live with, this is parents who can not realize the psychological disorders, for them as long as you are standing you eat and you speak it is good. I really want to go to France to study or work but I have no acceptance, that's not what to do, now in Morocco, they are starting to apply for the Master I have applied are hesitating but I don't want to stay here. Since I came to this country I have suffered. I have no one to lay my head on that shoulder I'm a really loyal person but he always throws it upside down on me. Regarding "boyfriend", I don't, my last relationship was 5 years ago which lasted 2 years but from what I understood he didn't really love me than the year last I started a relationship that does not have one and that did not work because he wanted me for my papers to what then seems a leave me because his mother wanted to marry him his cousin I also met a remote guy from these gestures I understood that he was toxic and we didn't understand we were just arguing and he told me that; at the beginning, he talks to me well and all the time but afterward when he knows he has acquired me he gives me no attention. Here men for them words are like sand they know that to speak without feeling, without action or sincerity. All my life I have lived with these family problems and now I am at my fingertips to do something bad on meI have a notebook that I write all of these things to but when I found out about this site I wanted to write it to someone different from those people here.