A letter from Aug 30th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, A lot of things are in deep damage right now. You, yourself, it's always been you that's making the problem. Naked Truth. But I know when your future self reads this, everything's in order. Not as planned maybe, but on what its meant to happen. You just gotta be brave and not sulk on how things are going bad just because it isn't what you planned. Three years ago was tough. You were kicked out bc you're just you. Abandoned when you weren't ready to independently maneuver life. Went across the sea, regretted, given a bit of hope, and then still decide stupidly. That was a very rough phase, but did you remember how you handled it? You laughed at everything. That was a brilliant diversion away from creating chaos on your mental stability. Good. But did you remember how you forgot about having faith in the Divine Omniscient and to the people around you? It changed you. You forgot praying as you forgot relying on people around you. You stopped believing on everything, on everyone. Two years ago, barely living. But still did it with the most unstoppable laugh and silly jokes. Even if everything's a mess, atleast people who knows you loved your silly jokes. Atleast you were a therapeutic friend and still offered comfort on someone who cries out of problems in life. *shoulder pat* One year ago, you met diff kind of people. There were those who made you laugh, who drains you out, and people who makes you see a way to survive on the true world. You met older-than-you people who taught you to work for your own. Then you become independent. I am just so proud of you on how you did it when it was so hard to work while studying. You weren't living alone, but you know you're independent. Things started to work out a bit, but there were still countless of depressing 3am moments. This year, it isn't our full bloom yet. This is not the scenes you imagine for your future self yet. Not YET. But please remember that you have the things that you wishes to have some 2 years ago. Appreciate, learn it please. It's not yet the peak season of your existence because you know you are working hard for it. This sleepless nights, battered body, and hardwork will someday be paid off. I know you. You won't settle on not having the best life. You're anything negative but I know you're brave. And its making me so proud of you. Some next five years, that's past graduation already. I can feel the positive energy from here, from your 5 yrs ago self. You'd be living alone, maybe. Paying your own bills. Working hard. Hustling harder. I know you are starting to live the life you long deserved. Travelling. Hooking up. Eating on fancy bc you just wanna wear your newly shopped silky dress. Sleeping on 5-star hotels bc you just wanna make use of your velvet PJ's. Doing the things with liberty bc you worked hard for it. But behind the eloquence of your Instagram Feed, you are still giving something on people who guided you. Do not not give just bc people, family and biological someone didn't treat you right before. You are more than a non-forgiving childish person. Do not stress yourself on anger on that people bc it isn't worth it. But them as a person is worth on your money, so help them. Nothing would be lost except a few printed blue bills from your bank acc and you won't mind bc you have lots of it. Don't marry yet. You don't want to, tho. Remember all the heartaches guys gave you, not just on romantic aspects. You can live without them, anyway. Oh, you can't bc you need some hook-up attention. So be the hoe, but be the woman of not taking any bills from them. Go to school again if you can. Make a business. Shop. Give. Forgive. Read. Go to places. Get that stamps. Grow your digita. Save. Take care of your skin and looks. Try anything you want. Don't be the person that society tells you to be. It isn't you. That's an absurd constructivism. Never ever settle. Be ambitious. Live the world as if it's yours and you're the only beautiful person on it. I'm so proud on how you patch up things from being so dead and hopeless into a new garden of hope and happiness. I'm so much happy for you. I know you'd go this very far. Even from the gutter. I'm so inlove with you.