A letter from Aug 29th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hi Natalie. Today is Sunday August 29th 2021. Tomorrow is your first day of high school and your going into 9th grade tomorrow. I’m 14 years old at the moment. I’m not really sure about high school. I’m kinda scared. But whenever mom or Shelby asks how I feel I say I don’t care. I mainly say that to mom though. I don’t want her to try and hug me and get me to talk about my feelings. I hate her. I wonder how you’ll feel about her by the time you get this letter. Right now I think I want to go to college for business and minor in design or something culinary related if possible. I kinda want to have my own high end fashion line or my own high end restaurant or bakery. Maybe be the ceo of a multi million dollar company. Right now my dream college is Berkeley, although I really don’t know much about it. I also want to join whatever college I go tos marching band. That’s important to me. There’s gotta be a band. Speaking of, this year was the first real year marching band and it’s been amazing so far!!!! I love marching band. Band camp was the best thing ever. I’ve met so many awesome people and made some good friends. I’ve also become much friendlier with Andrew and talked to Luke as well. This year Malka is our section leader for the saxes. I wonder if she’ll be section leader again next year. I hope the football games are really fun and im excited to go the banquet for marching band. I really hope we get to March in the ambler parade this year too. I think that would be really fun. Im really sad though cuz im realizing all the friends I make in marching band who are older then me I’ll probably never see again after high school. It’s just weird cuz in elementary and middle school we were always with the same people when we left but once we leave high school it’s all over. I talked to Kevin at freshman orientation for a bit. That was the first time I really talked to him. He was really really nice and I guess it just set in how im never gonna see the seniors again. He was really nice though. I hope he comes and visits. I also want to say how scared I was on the first few days or marching band. I always got that feeling that breath was being taken away a little when I would get out of my car and walk in. But every single time I always had fun. Everyone is so nice and inclusive. I love it. I should also probably get to the Michael topic. Im kinda ******* confused he added me on Snapchat under an account with the name mei. And Timmy sometimes messages me. I feel horrible. I want to tell him it’s nothing personal that I haven’t really talked to him or played fornite with him. I just don’t know how. I know im hurting him. Im a terrible person for that. I hope he’s ok though. But when he said he loved me I just didn’t know. That’s what happened with me and Michael and im still not sure if I really loved him or not. And im saying that in past tense but im not really sure why. Idk if I feel the same about Michael. He’s trans. I can’t love him. Or should I say her? Or them? Im being a ***** and sticking to him because it hurts. He doesn’t text me. He said he lost my contact. Will I ever message him? Maybe. Im not sure what to tell him. The second I start to really think about him I know it’ll all go down hill. I also wonder about Erik. He probably thought I was a weirdo. He was a cool guy though. I wish I got to know him more. It’s alright though. Anyways next topic lol. Uhhhhh my birthday is coming up. Depressing. I hope I see Ella tomorrow a lot. I know we have band together. Also I hope you’re still friends with Ella. She’s the best. I also hope you’re still friends with jay. Also the best. The only 2 in my life who really stand out to me. I love Jess but she jusr doesn’t get anything. Plus she’s gonna go to college and forget about me like Jacob so im trying to detach myself from her a bit. By the time you get this letter she’ll be in college. Hopefully she got in somewhere good and is having fun. I’m also still kinda friends with Isabella. All the Asians I’m also still friends with thank god. We don’t plan on splitting up thought out high school either. I really hope we dont. They’re my favorite friends. Anyways I’m hoping there was some interesting stuff in this letter and I’m gonna try and remember to write these more often so I can get them. So have a great first or second day of school and a fantastic senior year. FSU live it up cuz it’s now or never! -your younger self