A letter from Aug 29th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, It's 5 years into the future already? I hope I forgot about writing this letter so I could surprise my 21 year old self :P But hello to you, future S! The past two years have been nothing short of chaotic. But let's focus on the present for now; you were trying to avoid procrastinating and mindlessly doom scrolling again, so you went on FutureMe to check about your future letters but there weren't any, so you read strangers FutureMe letters instead. And boy did it get you to release that good cry you wanted! To tell you honestly, past you (present 2021 me) is scared of just so many things. You know you're capable but it's just easier to avoid and run away from the things that frustrate you, you feel me? So... ever since the pandemic, you lived in your tiny little bubble, being severely out of touch with reality. It's unhealthy but it is what it is when you're going through so much. It's okay - you can start over and try again and pick up the pieces again. I know it's tiring but maybe you'll know the feeling of relief of trying? <3 Anyways... reading strangers' letters feels so refreshing. To read about their stories, fears, traumas, experiences, reminders - it's just what you needed to see that the world is still so rich with life even in the middle of a standstill. And to see that some of them updated their letters and that they're doing so much better, it makes my heart warm with happiness that these people are living the lives they dreamed of. Makes me think of when I'll be able to live my dream too? :') As of writing, I'm sixteen and a little lost? I never would've thought I'd be spending my 16th year filled with so much stuff to be anxious/depressed about. Maybe that's the true teen experience? But also maybe it's the pandemic experience because I haven't seen my friends in 2 years T_T ... sixteen and just vibing, if I may so that way HAHAHAHA. Right now, you're playing a lot of Genshin Impact and you have a happy crush from that game :') He's very sweet, kind, and makes you feel very special. I'm not really expecting anything romantic but of course, you can't help but daydream about that kind of person anyway. I hope you guys are still friends at least! Whether or not you play Genshin still, it's been a major type of escapism; I hope you're maintaining your honors, though. >:( I made this public for the reason that I want to inspire and spark something in others the way other FutureMe letters have. I truly do pray you're in a better place. I hope you've healed from your past wounds. I feel a little sad for what you've gone through at such a young age but that's how life works for everyone. I'd be the happiest if you're still here, breathing - and even happier if you're authentically living your best life. I pray you don't restrain yourself anymore. I hope you don't lower the volume when you play your favorite music anymore. I wish you could sing a little louder, with confidence this time. I hope you're oversharing and not worrying whether someone has anything bad to say about your experiences - because they'll never know what it's been like in your shoes and your circumstances are valid and always will be. I hope you can eat your favorite food without feeling guilty because you never left some for anyone else. I just hope you can spread the wings you've been hiding, I know you've grown them but you're scared of soaring but isn't that the point? And I hope you know you're doing so great in the way you're most comfortable. Comparing yourself to anyone just isn't worth it, you'll never be anyone else, there is no better version of you and vice versa. I pray you look back at this letter and smile and be able to say you made it, again. This feels a little cheesy to say but I love you! You're your own worst critic and right now you hate yourself a little but I love you. I love you for everything you are - flawed and human, learning every day. I love you because you're worth it. Please hug mom for me and thank her for reminding you to take your vitamins. And I hope a trip to Europe is in your plans? Hehe, you know you promised to take her since you were 5. I really hope she's alright and taking care of her workaholic self; tell her to chill and enjoy retirement for once >:T I hope 21 is everything you envision it - can't imagine myself as an adult but as one FutureMe letter said, "It should be the past, and as you well know, time is linear and only moves forward. Memories remain in the past but they're always there to reflect on, so reflect." You deserve so much and you've grown. I'm enjoying 16 even if it's a little sad because I'm being a little immature and childish which is something I haven't done lol. But I enjoy being my inner child even if it's not the most mature thing. Sometimes you just have to let yourself be and that's absolutely fine because the world is still round and does not revolve around you. You can chill. Tell me if you were surprised by this letter! If you are, then 5 years were worth it. If not, well... you saw this coming HAHAHAHA. Update me on this please 16 year old you needs some reassurance. I'm going to play Genshin and work on my video edit for school now. See you in 5 years :P and have fun! Love and light, S.