A letter from Aug 22nd, 2021

Dear Camryn, i hate the feeling of tears filling my eyes but not allowing myself to cry just in case mom comes in my room. when my throat feels like its on fire and my body is screaming for me to just let out my tears and scream. why am i so closed off about my feelings? why is it so hard for me to talk about them? why do i feel the need to be this blonde barbie with perfect grades and has a million friends? why do i want to be her so badly when I'm so clearly not her. i try to be everyday. its almost like i wake up and become someone else. i just want out of this town.