A letter from Aug 18th, 2021

Dear Future Me, How are you? I hope you’re doing well. Happy birthday, can’t believe you’re twenty-one. I hope you have some fun plans today, either hanging out with friends or family. Life is kind of hectic at the moment, your brother is moving to college in almost exactly one week. It’s your senior year, first year back since covid. You did it, the dream of graduating early. I’ve been stressing out about school, friends, family, college, and just life in general. I’m so overwhelmed. Actually putting off AP Language homework right now, I have a meeting with Mrs. Goldman tomorrow to see if I can leave the class. The amount of times I cried over this stupid class in the three weeks school has been in session is insane. I’ve been thinking about my seventeenth birthday, I now it’s far away, but I still can’t wait. I wonder how your life is. Did everything you dream about come true? Did you go to New Zealand for college? I really hope you did, I know how much I wanted to go. You should have graduated by now… how was the entirety of college, are you planning on moving to Australia? Or are you still in the United States? Maybe you’re residing in California. Did you ever get that boyfriend you dreamt about? You know, it’s been hard to accept, but even if you don’t have one that’s okay. You shouldn’t dictate your worth on whether you have a relationship or not. Did you start your own business? How’s the family? I hope they’re doing well. How are your friends, do you still talk to the ones you met in high school? I know the likelihood of that is slim. I don’t have that many friends at the moment, I feel quite alone. I know it’s okay to be alone, it just gets hard at times. I have my senior pictures coming up in a little less than two weeks, it’s exciting, I can’t wait to get out of high school and move onto the next thing. Did you get your first car yet? I know, I know, really stupid, I can’t wait to get my very own car. I’m getting tired of sharing it, but I have to wait until I’ve settled down somewhere. Kind of weird to think that you could possibly have settled down. It scares me how old I am right now, I know sixteen isn’t old, but considering the fact that it feels like I just left eighth grade. Life is changing and it’s going so fast, I’m having a hard time keeping up. I feel like everything just needs to pause for me to breathe. Did you get any more pets? Probably not since you probably don’t have a house yet, you should get a husky or adopt a dog at the shelter. Within my sixteen years of life I realized a lot. I realized that your worthiness is not determined by the amount of friends you have, if you can get in a relationship, your family, absolutely none of that. Your worthiness is determined by who you are as a person. You have to be able to treat yourself with kindness and love. I still struggle with that at times, and I know that I’m perfect just the way I am, but sometimes I can’t help myself and want to be something different. Be something that I’m not. And hopefully one day I will grow past this mindset and become the best version of myself. I really hope you’re doing well. With lots of love, Your sixteen year old self