!~Congratulations~!

Hey! If you're reading this, happy birthday!!! But, more importantly, congrats. You made it. The date this was written might be random to you now, but maybe you remember. Maybe it kept you going. Maybe you made it by sheer willpower. Regardless, your past self wishes you the sincerest congratulations. Even if you feel like quitting, you made it. The past year has been some of your darkest times. Making it through the year might have made you stronger, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way right now. You lost your best friend–the person you love. I would say you've probably forgotten her, but I know that's not true. So let's just say you've probably locked away your memories of her–it's probably for the better. If you've reconnected, then good for you! If not, that's ok. Remember, demons were once angels too. If it made you lose other friends that you shared with her, I'm sorry. Now might be a time to reach out to rekindle those friendships–but only if they want to, and only if it doesn't hurt. Aside from that, you've basically been to hell and back. Multiple times now, but your stay this time was the longest and most gruesome. I don't even want to remember that speech. Do you know what I'm talking about? Even now, I try to push it to the back of my head. It's ok–your friends love you. It's not your fault. Remember that–it's what you made those posters for. Next up, how about that Christmas break where you had 2 weeks straight of nightmares? Yeah, literally. 14 days. Or, well, 14 days at least–it blurs, but that's the minimum. Nobody deserved to go through that. And then, the meds. Sure, they made those horribly intense feelings dissipate (or happen less frequently), but god you hated them. They made you stutter, twitch, more clumsy, and more disoriented. But, it's better than feeling like **** all the time. Are you still on them? I hope it's a lower dosage now–enough to not affect you normally. Or, maybe even you aren't taking them anymore. That'd be amazing. Anyways, this is what this letter is for–to give you a big ******* congratulations. It's to remember (commemorate?) these god awfully tough times and say "hey, you made it!!!" Congratulations for being alive. You fought on. You did it. Even when there was nothing else to prove to anybody but yourself, you ******* did it. Despite all these setbacks, tragedies, and generally ****** things, you did it. There were multiple times you couldn't even see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you still clawed your way forward to find that light. And for that, you deserve a thousand congratulations. Your friends and parents gave you footholds and helped you up along the way. Now, they are proud of you too, I'm sure of it. It's ok if you've f***d up along the way, everybody does (as you have now learned). Healing is a process, and you've got quite a bit to heal. It's ok if you're still healing–keep going. You're your own biggest cheerleader! Let this letter be proof. So, with that all said and done–happy birthday. I have no idea what you're doing, but celebrate the **** out of it. Now, get going. Set your eyes once again on the horizon, and move forward. Keep sailing, keep climbing, whatever you want to call it. Your past self believes in you, your parents believe in you, and your friends (from your past, present, and future) all sure as hell believe in you. Let's get it. OH, and I almost forgot. Got a girlfriend now? ;) Congrats on that too bud, about **** time. HAHAHA I'm jk, I'm jk. If you do, then actually I hope she's the one–and if she is, treat her right!!! Try not to **** it up. And if you don't have one, then meh. Learning to love yourself is over 9000 times more important anyways, so it's whatever. Now, seriously–off you go!! A toast to you, and everything you will accomplish. Love you lots, Your past self, ~Tau