A letter from Aug 16th, 2021

dear future isabel, **** i write a lot of futureme letters when im sad. this another one. but instead of a life update that will just bring you back to your ****** days, i want to make this a positive one. im a chaotic and emotional wreck at the moment. and by moment i mean this past year. ive met some great ******* people in the last 10 months, and i hope they are still in my your life. but, its okay if they all aren't. because thats growth. and everything that happens is for some weird celestial cosmo reason right? anyway, we are in our second lockdown and its either week 8 or 9 this week (its mon 16 aug 2021), and its been a weird few weeks. ive been getting up early to walk or surf, which is quite nice i must say. although i may be headed towards a burnout, its okay, because everything is very overwhelming. but, it can only last so long, cuz u gotta go back before you can go forward. lmao theres so many of those motivational quotes in this. but tbh idc cuz its the little things in life that make it worthwhile. how are you now? are you an olympian haha? it okay if you aren't. perhaps youre living in a nice- bra what am i saying??!! the future is a fog infront of me (that doesn't sound so positive aaa hopefully not foreshadowing!). but its true, i have no clue at all what the future looks like from now. i should however congratulate you, because when youre reading this, it means that you havent given up, which is very important because if you did, everything i did would have been for nothing and past (current??) you (me??????) would be hella disappointed. but, youre working on yourself, physically, but more mentally please. current me wants a boyfriend very bady (its lonely lockdown blues). just some physical affection would be lovely - gotta write that on my 'best things' list. how old are you now,,, uh, 21, ****, tweny-wun!!. bahahah, anyway, ur kinda old. what car did u get? surely not a suzuki swift. heres a lil reminder to listen to spacey jane. which shouldnt have to be a reminder. but, i hope you have forgiven me, for all the pain and suffering that i keep putting us through. i've realised that i do want to feel better, and im gonna keep trying, for you. for the love and the light that is coming. i kinda sound like im future me writing to past me. continuing on, i hope we've created a beautiful life for ourselves, and i will continue to try to grow so that 21 is lit. and with all the love that i want, i give it to you, because we cant be happy with anyone else before we are happy with each other, lots of love from 16 and confused bells <3