A letter from Aug 15th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Life is sad atm. I can't come out to anyone, can't talk to anyone because if I did they would tell me it's a mental disorder. (I know self diagnosing is bad) My Ed has gotten worse, apparently having a pattern in it is bad, my depression is under control I'd say, my anxiety is way better, I literally don't get anxious all the time! Although, I do feel very horrible and yk, I can't describe it myself. Today I'm going to attempt again-drowning in a bathtub. I'm just so tempted to do it instead of scarring my body once again. You should be 18 by now. Did you finish school? What are your plans for after summer? College, a job or a break? Did you hit my ugw of 40 kg? I was just at my grandma's for a week and I've gained like 1-2 kg. Domi has also commented on how little I am eating - like bro, sorry that I'm not hungry and actually want to keep my body in shape! But this week: I binged, and binged, and binged and binged. I binged until I could throw up all the food because it had so many calories and so much sugar. Are you still bisexual-or did you figure out that you're ace or aro? Are you still genderfluid? If yes, do you plan to medically transition? Are you still in contact with Ghost? If not, why? If yes, why? They're toxic for you! Are you taken? Are you interested in relationships? Did you end up in a psych ward bc someone saw you scars?! Anyway, lose that weight, James <3