A letter from Aug 11th, 2021

When my grandmother slipped and broke her arm, my sibling— I don't want to call him my brother — told me that it was my fault if she died. I screamed that I wished I wasn't born that day. He had definitely heard it, if him apologizing later was evidence of that. He scolded one of a helper for talking back and she left. Because of that it all escalated to a fight with the whole family. I took his side during the whole thing because she had also been condescending towards me. He was so angry that he punched my mom while I had to stop in between them. He almost seizured because my mom and dad didn't believe him. The day next, I realized that the helper threw away something important that was on my desk, mistaking it for trash. I cried that day. I had thought that he would somehow believe me. He called me a child. Today, after refusing to do the dishes, he said this to me; "Grandma is in the hospital, you are of no help to anyone". He only started doing chores regularly after the fight. I had done chores for years. He's always playing on his computer. I have had 3 hour nights of sleep to get into the honor roll and the extra discount it comes with. My parents had to beg his math teacher to let him graduate junior high, she was the same teacher I had during my last year. He graduated senior high school from private school, I have to move to a public school because we're short on money. I wish I could say this to his face one day. I wish I could say this before I die.