A letter from Aug 11th, 2021

Hi to my 26 year old self, first of all let me greet you a happy birthday. If your reading this letter I'm glad that we were able to surpass the ideas of *****. Yesterday was the 20th birthday of our sister and Tomorrow is the 8th birthday of our little brother, so I have a reason to delay my thoughts of *****. I may be alive tomorrow but how about the upcoming days. I'm trying so hard to find everyday reasons, I feel very troubled. By this time all I can feel is emptiness, it's like I'm in a void of nothingness, I can't feel deep emotions nor attachments. Yesterday I cried myself to sleep, one of the best sleep I had. We know for ourselves how tired we are at life, we know that we love ourselves that I, the me right now am considering to put myself at rest forever to spare it from further pain of the world has to offer. To you, a random stranger who is reading this right now, you may have your own opinion, either it may be relatedness or opposition. I hope you live your life in happiness, these words written by a person who wishes ***** as her happiness I hope you take my words with sincerity. To myself in the future, I don't regret this thoughts of *****. It is a reminder that I am still living and fighting, giving my best to find reasons in order for me to live every day. I hope and wish that 5 years from now I am still living and has a different reason meaning of happiness aside from *****.