A letter from Aug 5th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, How are you, I am you from the past, 2021, 5 years ago today. Right now I'm not in the best spot mentally and physically. I'm dealing with depression and gender/body dysphoria, I have trouble getting out of bed everyday and I have several suicidal thoughts everyday. I hope you're doing better. I hate pretty much every aspect of my body, my chest, my hips, my waist, my voice, my height, my thighs and my stomach. I feel like I've let so many people down in my life and I don't deserve anything good. I try to punish myself by forcing myself not to sleep and not eating. My family is struggling with financial issues and I feel like I am not helping one bit. I use Twitch, YouTube and Discord as a way to escape from the real world and distract my self from the ****** world we live in. Its hard to push through while thinking that your not good enough and having the temptations to hurt yourself. I've been trying to resist the urges of cutting myself but I feel like I'm going to eventually give up. Is this still happening? Are you okay? Am I okay? Did I make it? I'm sorry for everything. Its my fault I'm like this, I hope I didn't **** up the future.